My first crush was in pre-school. He was my best male friend and was betrothed in a playground ceremony to my best female friend. The criteria was simple: we played together and it was fun. My second crush was a "popular" boy in the fourth grade who didn't notice me. It wasn't a tragedy that he didn't "like-like" me back.

Third time's a charm, right? That's when a falling-for-my-good-friend pattern was born.

Fifth grade and all throughout middle school I crushed on the same quiet boy who listened to every thought in my head. But crushes evolved to be a thing of the past and dating and hook ups became standard. He and I would spend hours on AOL Instant Messenger (a.k.a. AIM) or we would text on our now ancient LG flip phones. We even took to e-mail! He was my favorite person to talk to. While we would never date, he was my longest lasting crush.

In high school, I unexpectedly became great friends with a guy in the class above me and this time, through Skype, Blackberry Messenger and the occasional letter, fell madly (literally, went a little crazy) in love with this best friend. He and I had that puppy love relationship filled with many slow dances, unnecessary fights, and romantic evenings. I couldn't get enough of him.

In college, I tried dating guys who asked me out, but the ten month relationship I had, began with a six month friendship, not a string of anxiety-inducing dates. Yes, I started crushing on him a mere two weeks after our first more-than-a-hello-passing-in-the-dorm conversation, but I didn't want to jump the gun (as I often did) so the friendship developed, then a romance, and quickly a relationship.

Friends first is how many of my relationships have played out. I struggle to see any other viable, sustainable, and long-lasting possibility. I like to have information and knowledge about a person before starting up a relationship. I like to know how they act in groups, their response to stress or subway delays, and what makes them laugh. Of course this comes with time, but I think one gets there through friendship.

We, as a technology-driven culture, mistakenly put a lot of effort and energy into dating apps and manufactured dates. It's safe to be on a virtual platform stating what you want and showing your favorite Instagram, Facebook, and SnapChat pictures. There is less on the line when you aren't bonded as friends. Nobody wants to lose a friend, but people we meet online are more likely to be disposable.

While there is no "right" way to meet someone, it's a reach to find someone through pictures and a few exchanges. Body language, eye contact, scent, sound of voice, connection, communication, and dare I say, chemistry, are all key for seeking a compatible partner. It's tough for me to make an informed judgement call of another person if I have only seen them in a specific setting -- a date.

Three hallmark friendships turned relationships and then my pattern broke down. While I fell for another friend, he didn't feel the same. It was a new, uncomfortable, sad, scary, and strange feeling for me to see that the path I thought to take to get to a relationship wasn't the same for my friend.

It confused me to spend so much time with another person -- going to parties, seeking out events we could go to together, sleeping in the same bed (platonically), telling all my secrets and news -- without a relationship being the explanation. My feelings put a strain on our friendship. It happens. Everyone has their own idea and expectation of how relationships form. Here and there, I still have crushes on friends and think of how natural and fun it would be to go from friends to boyfriend/girlfriend, but I know, now, that it doesn't always happen that way.

So, why am I THAT girl? Why am I Sally looking for Harry?

I put a lot more time and effort into friendships. Then my perception becomes that there is a stronger reward and happier connection when I find that a friend reciprocates my feelings. Friendships are a powerful foundation of support, care, and love. Robert J. Sternberg developed the theory of love as a story.

I see the love I want as a story of friendship. Others might see their love as stories of games, fantasy, gardening, history, humor, theater, student-teacher, and so on and so forth. Everyone envisions a story to tell their friends and family.

While I don't go into every friendship thinking I'll fall for the other person, it does not surprise me if and when it happens. I love my friends, and I find there are fewer questions when entering into a romantic relationship with a friend because there is a developed foundation for a relationship to flourish. While it might feel odd to transition from just friends, I do believe that there is so much potential and ease in commonalities.

I think of dating as a sampling of a relationship. Dates make for a tiny taste whereas a friendship makes for a greater sample of what a relationship could be. It makes more sense to me to see a friendship blossom into a romance than a text message conversation on a dating app. Instead of an organized process, it is an organic process.

Neither are a perfect science. One allows you to know a person well and therefore might deter you from wanting to start a relationship or it may not even cross your mind. The other puts everything in a purely dating or relationship light so there is no question or vagary as to what you're doing and what the goal is -- commitment, love, partnership, romance.

All I know is that at some point everyone wants to call their romantic partner their best friend.