Ever since I could remember, I was a social butterfly and a total people person. I had a big personality and an even bigger mouth that I loved to show off to everyone around me. I was so happy when we had company over and always asked my mom if I could have friends over so we could hang out all night and continue the fun into the next day with a sleepover. I loved to be surrounded by tons of people and felt that was how I could tell if I was having fun. I believed that the more people I was with, the more fun I was having, right?

Wrong.

Okay, now let me explain myself a little. I am still a social butterfly and a huge people person. I still love to show off my huge personality and mouth and love to throw some of my awesome dance moves in there as well. And I love to have my family and friends over to entertain or just to hang out. The difference is now, I don’t need to be surrounded by a million people to have fun. I don’t even need a couple of friends. I can have fun all by myself.

Spending time by yourself is looked at as such a negative thing in society, especially when you’re in college. When you're in college, you meet people and spend every minute with them, whether it's getting meals, studying, or just hanging out. And if we're being totally honest for a second, you basically have a sophisticated sleepover with your roommate(s) every night.

The socially accepted thing is to just constantly be with other people, which is why whenever I say I’m going to go grab dinner by myself, or want to watch Netflix in my room, or even when I decide to stay in when everyone else goes out, I get bombarded with a million questions: “Are you okay?”, “Why are you sad?”, “Do you want to talk about what’s wrong?”. I get even more puzzled looks when I answer back that I’m perfectly fine and am choosing to do these things by myself because I enjoy spending time alone. Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends dearly and love spending time with them, and I appreciate everyone’s worries, but there’s really nothing to be worried about.

Spending time alone has such a stigma surrounding it, like something must be wrong and you must be sad if you want to be alone because any perfectly normal person would choose hanging out with their friends over being by themselves any day. But I just don’t feel that way.

I feel like alone time is necessary for the soul, and I have grown to love it. By spending time by yourself, you really just have a moment to think about what’s been on your mind lately: whatever big changes have happened or troubles you might’ve recently faced. You don’t have to look good for anyone, and you don’t have to worry about keeping a conversation going or keeping the night fun and entertaining. You just have yourself to focus on, and isn’t that how it should be? Shouldn’t you be worried about your own opinion of yourself before focusing on the way other people view you? Because the only thing you really can change is the way you see yourself, not the view from someone else’s eyes.

I know it can sound selfish to think about yourself before you think about others, or when you choose to spend time in your room alone writing an article rather than hanging out with your friends. But the thing is, you can learn so much from being alone.

You learn about independence, and how to depend on yourself for things you often looked to other people for. You learn how to self-reflect and to figure out problems on your own. You gain perspective on new things without the pressure or opinions of other people weighing on your own thoughts and clouding your mind. You learn how to keep yourself happy, instead of looking to others to find your happiness like it's some hidden gem inside of them.

When you spend time alone, you can truly focus on doing things you enjoy, without worrying about how others might feel or react. You learn to look to yourself for praise and give yourself little compliments for your achievements, instead of telling other people in hopes that they think what you did is worthy enough for some appreciation. Sometimes, by spending time alone, you are able to step away from your busy lifestyle and work on some of the things that bother you so that when you are ready to step back into the world, you're able to do so with clear eyes and an open heart.

I really recommend at least trying to spend some time alone. I’m not saying that it’s going to be easy to break society’s mold that you have conformed to over the years. I know it takes some time to get comfortable with spending time alone and I know because I used to be the person that hated it. I used to be that girl that could never spend more than a day by herself because I always felt that I had to be in the presence of other people to have a good time and to bring out my true self.

I know it’s hard not to feel guilty when your friends text you to go out and be social and all you really want to do is stay home and relax, and I know it’s even harder to put your phone down and stop looking at all your social media to check in and see what everyone is doing when they’re out (because FOMO is seriously a real thing).

But really, just try it! Spend some time catching up on your shows or watching that movie you really wanted to see. Go out to eat at that restaurant or to that museum no one wants to go with you too. Because I promise you, once you start to spend time by yourself, you won’t just enjoy it, you will crave it. You will never pass up an opportunity to have some “me time” and you will get the chance to know yourself better. Most importantly, you will learn that all the fun you need, you can find in yourself. And that is a really awesome feeling.