We all lose ourselves sometimes. For some, we lose ourselves in relationships that aren’t right for us. For others, we simply lose ourselves to the chaos of life only to find out later that the person navigating all of that chaos had replaced who we really are. That’s what is scary about losing yourself. Most of the time, you don’t realize it until you find yourself again. So, if you’re feeling like you’ve lost yourself, perhaps that’s a good thing.

Feeling like you’ve lost yourself means you recognize that things aren’t the same as they used to be. Knowing this is the first step in finding yourself again, but a lot of us find the realization unsettling.

For most people, the innate reaction to the discovery that you’ve lost yourself is panic. How did I let this happen? Why didn’t I notice sooner? Do I even know who I am anymore? While these questions are all valid, they may also lead you to a more dismal train of thought than you need to be on.

Because after all, life happens. Whether it was the bad relationship or spreading yourself too thin for too long, we are all guilty of getting into some sort of self-deprecating situation at one point or another. If we didn’t get ourselves into these situations, we would never learn from them. So instead of asking ourselves how we let this happen, maybe we should be asking ourselves what we’ve learned.

At the end of the day, you do know who you are. While I’m not trying to say that this definition is a static one, as it certainly is not, I’m saying that at any given point in time, you’re going to know where you stand. You’re always going to follow your core values, whether you notice it or not, and the things that have shaped you are never going to change.

The past doesn’t change, even though you do.

So just because you fell off the bandwagon for awhile, doesn’t mean that you can’t go back, and it doesn’t change any of the events or people in your life that have shaped you into your true self. When you realize you have lost yourself, remember this. In addition, remember that the more time you spend letting yourself regret, the less time you have to make changes and move forward.

It’s easy to get lost in the chaos of life, and it’s easy to be angry at ourselves for letting it happen. Finding ourselves again may be easier than we thought if we don’t let this anger get in the way.