Not everyone has endured the pain and suffering of losing a loved one. If you have lost someone close, you know it's some of the worst pain you will ever go through. Between the sleepless nights and random breakdowns you feel so debilitated that you don't even want to open your eyes in the morning. The thought of actually getting out of bed is almost too much to handle. You plan all of these events to keep yourself busy and then when the time comes you feel to drained to do anything. Then at night, after you've forced yourself to get out of bed and go through the motions of every day life you're wide awake all night thinking about the memories, laughs, and tears you've shared with that person. You know it's not true, but you feel like everyone else has moved on after that person has passed but you're still mourning. It's so strange how death can affect you not only mentally and emotionally, but physically as well. You feel nauseous more often than not. You've noticed your immune system isn't as strong. You feel an ache throughout your entire body that hurts to the bone. You cry at the smallest things. You have drastic mood swings. You're pissed off and angry for no reason. Headaches? You have them every day.

You have a routine. You wake up, shower, go to work, come home, watch tv, then lay in bed. It doesn't change very much. You occasionally go out with friends, but while you're out you can't stop thinking about how much you'd rather be home. And when something good does happen, you want to pick up the phone and call that person but you know their voice wouldn't be on the other line.

But one day you wake up and it's a little better. You get out of bed a little sooner, you aren't dreading clocking in at work, and you willingly go out with your friends. You wake up and that person isn't the first thing on your mind. I'm not saying you don't think about them anymore, because you do, you'll think about them daily but it won't hurt as much anymore. You miss them, but you know they aren't in pain now. You feel like a functioning person in society. Taking a shower doesn't seem like so much of a chore. Your smile is genuine. You have the motivation to go work out. When you think about your memories with that person, you smile because you're thankful that you have so many to remember. You hear a song and it hurts for a second, but now you think it's a sign from them telling you that they're okay.

Losing someone so near and dear to your heart is so painful, but during your time of mourning just know that you're not alone. You aren't the only one grieving. Surround yourself with your family and friends who miss that person just as much. Talk about them. Tell their story. Pray. Talk to them out loud. Even if you aren't a spiritual person, it will make you feel better. But most of all, don't give up on yourself. Allow yourself to feel the pain and then push yourself through it. Just because that person's time here on earth is over doesn't mean yours has to be. They would want you to be happy and keep their spirit alive in your heart. It's okay to break down, but wake up the next day ready to take on the world.