You wanted her to put her books down to pick up your hands

She did

Her library became 4 am conversations, studying every word, every piece

She felt her self slipping into the depths of places she thought she would never know, dusting off the emotions she thought she had buried

beneath bruises and breakdowns

underneath doubts and memories that she filed away as something never to show

Through tear stained windows that had become the eyes of the girl that always said yes

to the girl that had forgotten that her smile didn’t have to hide it all

A girl floating in the in between not sure whether to fly or fall

Leaning on a boy that had become a better idea rather than a person

Her outside became everything you wanted her to be, her inside a constant

construction site

Detours within detours, she couldn't find the way to begin or the means to an end

The checklist that she had cherished, those goals she had set were folded under every problem you needed her to solve, every accusation, every reoccurring break

She so desperately tried to pick it back up, but it seemed that her piece of paper had gained some weight

She couldn’t lift anymore, she was already carrying the weight of two hearts on her sleeve.

Her gaze transfixed in a mirror where she couldn't see herself, a mirror made up of an image that he had constructed.

Day after day the sculptor chipped away,

her life transformed by a boy she thought she needed to find herself

a love that had become a necessity

not sure what to do with it, she stayed...

She settled

She lost her grip on everything that she had once held so firm, all those little things that made her were now lost in the sea of what used to be

He had left her in the deep end time and time again

The waters too high

She was drowning and she still couldn’t let him in

If only he was the boy that wanted to save the girl that couldn’t scream

If only he was the boy that didn’t make it impossible for her to breathe

The only thing left were the pieces that he wanted her to save

Everything within her had changed

deep down in a place that she hid even from herself she saw glimpses of the girl that hadn’t been touched by love and she missed her face