Why We Feel So Lost In Our Late Teens/Early 20s

Why We Feel So Lost In Our Late Teens/Early 20s

If you're wondering who you are or what you're going to do with your life, you are not alone.

If you're wondering who you are or what you're going to do with your life, you are not alone. These are concerns of many traditional college-aged students, including myself. So why do we feel so lost, perhaps like we are in an "in between" stage in our life?

If you are familiar with Erik Erikson, then you probably know about Erikson's stages of development. A relatively new stage of development proposed by psychologist Jeffrey Arnett, emerging adulthood, accounts for ages 18-25. Feeling "in between" is common during these years. Although emerging adults feel they are responsible for themselves, they do not fully feel like adults yet. Emerging adults are not yet adults, but they are no longer adolescents.

Identity exploration and self-focus are two key components of emerging adulthood. Views on love, work, and the world are explored during this stage of development. Compared to previous generations, more people are obtaining higher education and getting married later in life.

Cognitively, connections within the brain will strengthen with use or be pruned away with disuse. Emerging adults gain a better sense of self and capacity for reflection; therefore, emerging adults are less likely to make impulsive decisions than adolescents.

With the stress of college and trying to find one's place in the world, it is hardly a surprise that approximately 50% of people age 18-25 experience at least one psychiatric disorder. Anxiety, mood, substance abuse, and impulse-control disorders generally begin before age 24. The good news is the chance of developing a disorder decreases dramatically by age 28.

Despite a strong desire to explore the world, emerging adults typically do not make enough money to be independent; in fact, a majority of people age 18-25 live at home. Emerging adults tend to go through many different jobs on their path to self discovery. However, emerging adults say they believe they will have a better life than their parents did.

Emerging adulthood is the age of instability, but it is also the age of possibilities.

Emerging adulthood may seem like a an awkward stage riddled with conflict, anxiety, and pressure, but emerging adulthood is a privilege of living in a developed country. We have all the resources necessary to explore our identities.

As millennials, we have similar concerns and struggles. We may have a longer road to adulthood, but we are living longer as well. Don't try to rush through your late teens and early 20s. It's supposed to feel like this. You don't have to decide what you want to do for the rest of your life now. Emerging adulthood is a time to discover yourself and the world. Accept the instability in your life by embracing change and living each day as it comes. With instability comes possibilities. The future is not certain, but it is yours.

Cover Image Credit: thatsphotography via Pixabay

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Everything You Will Miss If You Commit Suicide

The world needs you.

You won’t see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.

Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.

You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.

You won’t laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.

You won’t go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.

They’ll miss you. They’ll cry.

You won’t fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.

You won’t get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.

You won’t be there to wipe away your mother’s tears when she finds out that you’re gone.

You won’t be able to hug the ones that love you while they’re waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.

You won’t be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.

Instead, they will be at yours.

You won’t find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.

You won’t celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.

You won’t turn another year older.

You will never see the places you’ve always dreamed of seeing.

You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.

This will be the last sunset you see.

You’ll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.

If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.

This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.

This is who will care about you when you are gone.

You can change lives. But I hope it’s not at the expense of yours.

We care. People care.

Don’t let today be the end.

You don’t have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It’s not wrong to ask for help.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.

Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I’m sure you’re no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won’t do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you’ll be fine.” Because when they aren’t, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.

For help, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Cover Image Credit: Brittani Norman

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6 Mistakes I Realized I Was Making Thanks To My Calorie Counter App

The truth is that recently I gained some pounds, so I asked myself, "how?"


You know I am obsessed about my weight. The worst part is that I am not skinny. People always ask me why I am in a permanent diet; the answer is I can gain weight if I am not careful. The truth is that recently I gained some weight. It is not too much, but enough to notice in my clothes.

I asked myself, "how?" Ok, I do not go to the gym enough, but I eat healthily. Most of my food is homemade and I go to eat out only once in a while. Why did I get more weight? Because I am too lazy to start a daily workout routine, I chose to download a calorie-count-app.

It was a revelation. I discovered a lot of little details I was doing which were sabotaging my diet.

1. Almond flour.


Almond flour is an excellent replacement of regular flour. It has a good kind of fat and proteins. The problem is almond flour is high in calories. 1 cup has 600 calories. I don't eat one cup per day, but I use it in a cake that I eat for a couple of days which means I am getting like 120 calories per day only with that.

2. Prosciutto.


I am Prosciutto's fan. I love it. I know it is not my healthiest option, but it is a guilty pleasure. Until now, I thought it was really bad for me to eat this kind of food; however, I discovered that one ounce of prosciutto has 50 calories which is the best. I can eat prosciutto with no regrets (of course, I know it has too much sodium, but still).

3. Protein bar.


These days I am into protein bars for two reasons. First, they help me to eat something "sweet" when I am hungry or anxious. Second, they help me with my daily portion of proteins. On weekdays, I do not eat any kind of meat; then, I must be careful about my proteins. I just realized one of the protein bars I was taking has 290 calories. That is a lot.

4. Olive oil.


I am a fan of the Mediterranean diet, and I love to add some olive oil in my meals. I like its taste; I always read olive oil has many good qualities. However, one spoon of olive oil is 100 calories. It means I was adding 100 calories with no reason to my food.

5. Dinner soup.


Each night, my dinner is a homemade plate of vegetable soup. Believe me, I am not a big fan of soups, but it is my best option: it is hot, full of flavor, makes me feel full and it has few calories. The problem was that trying to make my soup more interesting, sometimes, I added some olive oil and one Mexican tortilla. The olive oil has 100 calories and the tortilla has 130 calories. Then, I was working hard to have a low-calorie meal, and I added in over 200 calories.

I stop eating Mexican tortillas. I love them because vegetarian burritos are a good idea for my lunch. Again, this idea cost me 260 calories per meal.

6.  Chocolate.


I am a chocolate addict. These days, I do not eat as much chocolate I used to do. However, I need a small piece every day. Recently, I found an amazing bar of Godiva chocolate. It is delicious. The surprise was it has 130 calories per piece. That is the same than one protein bar or two Milano's cookies.

I do not want you to freak out; the idea is we can be more careful about the small decisions we make. If I am going to get calories I preferer to eat Milanos cookies than tortillas or only a piece of chocolate.

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