How to mourn when you lose a loved one to cancer

Cancer, You May Have Taken My Best Friend, But You Can't Touch His Memory

Four years later and cancer can still kindly suck it.


Four years ago, cancer took my best friend away from me. He was the purest heart in the entire world and now he's gone. He may not have been in his youthful years anymore, but he was here and he was with me. Why did cancer claim him? Of all of the people that have done wrong in this world, it picked my grandaddy. Why?

Cancer, you ruined me at a young age. I didn't know what heartbreak was until he took his last breath because you took over. I didn't know what love was until I had to write a eulogy for him and say it through tears while he was laying in his casket and you were onto your next victim.

Physically, he's missing out on a lot of milestones in my life right now because of it. He didn't get to take pictures of me graduating high school. I couldn't call him and tell him that I got accepted into college. I can't hug him when I come home on the weekends. He won't see me graduate college. He won't be able to talk to my boyfriend and tell him what would happen if he mistreats me. I'll never be able to call him and tell him about my day. He'll never see me walk down the aisle of my wedding in my Cinderella-esque gown. I can't smell the sweet and spicy scent of his cologne anymore. He won't even meet my children and show them the same love he showed me.

I know that he's not in pain anymore because you're not in his body making his bones ache and he's not crying out in pain in the middle of the night anymore. Before you, he was healthy. He was happy. He was enjoying his life with my mom, my brother, and me. He was enjoying his time with his dogs and his camera. He loved us, but you didn't care.

You took the most important person away from me who taught me how to love, treat people nicely, and to respect others.

I hope you're happy for the pain you've caused me, but cancer, here's where you lost.

Mentally and spiritually he is with me every day and every step of the way. I feel him when I'm stressing out over a class. I feel his hands taking away all of the pain that you brought about years ago. He's carrying the load that I bear so I can be free of pain and stress and fear. He's with me still, so in a way you lost.

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A Letter To The Grandpas Who Left Far Too Soon

The thoughts of a girl who lost both of her grandpas too early.

Dear Grandpa,

As I get older, my memories are starting to fade. I try to cling to every last bit of memory that I have of you. There are certain memories that have stuck well in my brain, and I probably will never forget them, at least I hope I don't. I remember your smile and your laugh. I can still remember how your voice sounded. I never want to forget that. I catch myself closing my eyes to try to remember it, playing your voice over and over in my head so that I can ingrain it in my memory.

I always thought you were invincible, incapable of leaving me. You were so young, and it caught us all by surprise. You were supposed to grow old, die of old age. You were not supposed to be taken away so soon. You were supposed to see me graduate high school and college, get married to the love my life, be there when my kids are born, and never ever leave.

My heart was broken when I heard the news. I don't think I had experienced a pain to that level in my entire life. At first, I was in denial, numb to the thought that you were gone. It wasn't until Thanksgiving, then Christmas, that I realized you weren't coming back. Holidays are not the same anymore. In fact, I almost dread them. They don't have that happy cheer in the air like they did when you were alive. There is a sadness that hangs in the air because we are all thinking silently how we wished you were there. I hope when I am older and have kids that some of that holiday spirit comes back.

You know what broke my heart the most though? It was seeing your child, my parent, cry uncontrollably. I watched them lose their dad, and I saw the pain that it caused. It scared me, Grandpa, because I don't ever want to lose them like how they lost you. I can't imagine a day without my mom or dad. I still see the pain that it causes and how it doesn't go away. There are good days and there are bad days. I always get upset when I see how close people are to their grandparents and that they get to see them all the time. I hope they realize how lucky they are and that they never take it for granted. I wish I could have seen you more so that I could have more memories to remember you by.

I know though that you are watching over me. That is where I find comfort in the loss. I know that one day I will get to see you again, and I can't wait for it. I hope I have made you proud. I hope that all that I have accomplished and will accomplish makes you smile from ear to ear. I hope that the person I marry is someone you would approve of. And I hope that my kids get more time with their grandpa than I did because the amount I got wasn't fair.

I want to say thank you for raising your child to be the best parent ever because they will one day be the best grandparent ever. Just like you.

Cover Image Credit: Katelyn McKinney

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9 Reasons Your Grandparents Are The Best Gifts You'll Ever Receive

They love us unconditionally and are always there to lend a helping hand.


Grandparents are special. They are the leaders and foundations of our families. They love us unconditionally and are always there to lend a helping hand. The spoil us way too often! My grandparents mean the world to me. The picture above is one of my favorite photos with both my mother and my grandfather when I was a little girl. They are some of the best people in my life and have always set a good example for me. Cherish them while you can because they won't always be around! Here are nine reasons your grandparents are the best gifts you'll ever receive!

1. They give the best advice.

2. They have a lot of life experience and are willing to share it with you.

3. Their smile makes your heart warm.

4. They are so intelligent.

5. They have the best stories to share.

6. They are a great example of love.

7. Their hugs are like no other.

8. They spoil their grandchildren.

9. They love you unconditionally.

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