You chose a night of adrenaline and serotonin over me. I cried helplessly for hours, fell asleep, and woke up feeling lighter, more free.

I thought you were the love of my life. I thought you were everything I could ever want. You made me smile, laugh, gave me butterflies. When it was over, I did not think I would feel that way ever again.

But here I am weeks later, and I feel better, so much better than you ever made me feel.

It goes unseen that when you're happily in love, you take a path of blissful ignorance. I never noticed how you weighed me down, and prevented me from reaching my goals. You were the only object of my attention, even if you never intended for it to be that way. I was so caught up in keeping you happy, supporting you, cheering you on, that I forgot to do so for myself.

But you never returned the favor; my goals and aspirations did not matter. Our future could never work because you were never willing to compromise for what I wanted. You rarely asked about what I was going after, but I knew everything going on in your life. But I was OK with that. You made me feel so loved, and so happy, that it was OK, and only now do I see it was an act of manipulation.

You weren't strong enough, you let me support you, and kept me on a chain. You kept my attention on you to feel powerful, to feel like what you were doing was amazing. You weren't strong enough, but you knew I was. I was strong, but so simple-minded and infatuated that I let you use me. I gave and gave, and you took and took.

Only now do I realize, now that I've "lost" you, that I am so much better off. I put myself first. I do not follow my dreams; I run after them like hell without the constraints of your chain. Losing you means I've fallen madly in love with myself. Losing you means a whole new level of happiness you always prevented me from experiencing. Losing you is truly the best thing that ever happened to me.

A large part of me never wanted what we had to end. You promised me forever. You broke many promises, but for that one I am grateful. I fear for what my future could have been if you had been a part of it. I would have given up so much for you, probably everything if you had just asked. That would have been the biggest mistake ever.

So, thank you, for deciding I wasn't enough. Thank you for treating me like gravel when I am a diamond. Thank you for giving up on me. If you hadn't, I'd probably still be wrapped around your finger, which is no way to live. Thank you for showing me I deserve more. I am so much happier. I am so much better off. I am focused on myself. I know someone will treat better than you ever did. I sleep sounder at night without the anxiety you gave me.

"Losing you" let me find myself.