Losing My Passion
Start writing a post
Life Stages

Losing My Passion

As a college student in her senior year, I feel the strain of graduation growing ever closer and all the anxieties that come with it.

Losing My Passion

This semester was one of the hardest I have ever experienced. Maybe it was because of the short semester, maybe it was because I was a first time apartment tenant, maybe it was because I was neglecting my mental health. Whatever the cause, I felt it. I felt it so deep down that I dreaded getting out of bed every morning. I hated getting emails or texts of encouragement from my peers, because I had nothing to be happy about. I felt the weight of every passing day. It wasn't until one day that I looked up at the projector in my Counseling Theories class that I realized it. I had lost my passion.

Does that mean I want to stop being a psychology major? No. Does that mean I wanted to quit writing for the Odyssey? No. But what it did mean was that every time I sat down at my computer to let my thoughts flow, I felt nothing. Many days, I would sit and stare at my computer screen and ask myself, "What changed?" What happened to that young adult that was so excited when she got her acceptance letter to USM? Where was that girl that loved going to her job every day and seeing the youth she works with? What happened to the girl that loved to listen to her favorite songs and scream the lyrics? Where is she?

That person that had so much passion and zeal for life was me, and someday, it will be me again, but not today. Not right now. I remember so vividly the fire that burned so brightly within me. I remember fearlessly and excitedly chasing my dreams. But now, now all I feel is the cold hollow left in my chest. I hope that one day, I forget this pain. The feelings I have right now are only temporary, but in this moment, it feels like relief will never come. I hope to once again find the activities that I enjoy doing and the people I love to associate myself with. I hope to become the hero I always needed.

I remember going with my best friend to a protest a few years ago. I remember standing there in the sun with my poster held high, screaming my lungs out. Now, I doubt I could even find the energy to stand up for myself, let alone anyone else. I feel like I have let down everyone, but mostly I have let down myself. I let the passion I had die, and I did not realize it until it was too late. I had a therapist tell me once, "You cannot pour water out of an empty well." Maybe I had become empty, and as a result, had nothing left for myself. Maybe I had poured myself into all my activities that I began to run dry. Maybe in trying to help others find themselves, I had lost myself.

For now, I will take this time from school to rediscover who I am. I want to remember the things that brought me joy as well as the things that brought me pain. I hope to one day be a person I can be proud of; the girl who can be her own hero.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Content Inspiration

Top Response Articles of This Week

Kick off spring with these top reads from our creators!

Hand writing in a notepad

Welcome to a new week at Odyssey! The warmer weather has our creators feeling inspired, and they're here with some inspiration to get your Monday going. Here are the top three articles of last week:

Keep Reading... Show less

No Sex And Upstate New York

A modern-day reincarnation of Carrie Bradshaw's classic column


Around the age of 12, when I was deciding whether or not to be gay, Satan appeared on my left shoulder. “Ramsssey,” he said with that telltale lisp. “Come over to our side. We have crazy partiessss.” He made a strong case, bouncing up and down on my shoulder with six-pack abs and form-fitting Calvin Kleins. An angel popped up on the other shoulder and was going to warn me about something, but Satan interrupted- “Shut up, you crusty-ass bitch!’ The angel was pretty crusty. She disappeared, and from that moment forward I was gay.

Keep Reading... Show less

To The Classes That Follow

I want you to want to make the most of the years that are prior to Senior year

To The Classes That Follow
Senior Year Is Here And I Am So Not Ready For It

I was you not that long ago. I was once an eager freshman, a searching sophomore, and a know-it-all junior. Now? Now I am a risk taker. Not the type that gets you in trouble with your parents, but the type that changes your future. Senior year is exciting. A lot of awesome things come along with being the top-dog of the school, but you, right now, are building the foundation for the next 4 years that you will spend in high school. I know you've heard it all. "Get involved", "You'll regret not going to prom", "You're going to miss this". As redundant as these seem, they're true. Although I am just at the beginning of my senior year, I am realizing how many lasts I am encountering.

Keep Reading... Show less

The Power Of Prayer Saved My Best Friend's Life

At the end of the day, there is something out there bigger than all of us, and to me, that is the power of prayer.

Julie Derrer

Imagine this:

Keep Reading... Show less

Why Driving Drives Me Crazy

the highways are home


With Halloween quickly approaching, I have been talking to coworkers about what scares us. There are always the obvious things like clowns, spiders, heights, etc. But me? There are a number things I don't like: trusting strangers, being yelled at, being in life or death situations, parallel parking. All of these are included when you get behind the wheel of a car.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments