For those of you who are lucky enough to have someone in your life who has been cheering you on from day one, you are lucky. For those of you who have lost that person, we have something in common.
It is 110 percent true that you don’t know the true value of something until it’s gone. I lost my dearest treasure this year before I could fully comprehend just how precious that treasure truly was. We take moments for granted, but as humans that is normal. How can we ever fully appreciate the importance of every moment in our lives while it happens? I have moments of regret, moments where I wish I could have done, or said more, but there is one moment in my life that I will forever be grateful for and truly believe was a gift.
I have always been particularly close with my grandparents on my mom’s side. They have always lived close by, so they were able to cheer me on at soccer games and talent shows, in addition to being at every holiday over the years. Having them around has been a blessing. Last February, my family and I took them on a vacation for their 50th wedding anniversary to Puerto Rico. We spent days on the beach and nights out to dinner in Old San Juan, simply enjoying each other’s company. When returning to the hotel on our last night, my siblings and I were racing to the elevator in a fight for who would get the first shower, when I heard my mom yell for us across the lobby. She scolded us for not saying goodnight to our grandparents. We turned around and gave them each a hug and a kiss and said goodnight. I will forever be grateful for her scolding. Though I didn’t know it at the time, my goodnight had been my goodbye.
The next morning, I woke up in my hotel room planning to spend my last day on the beach soaking up every last bit of sun I could before heading home to snow-covered Boston. That is why I wasn’t alarmed when my dad came in and shook me, telling me to wake up. I brushed him off at first, annoyed that he would deprive me of the pleasure of sleeping in while on vacation. Once I realized that his tone was serious, I arose. He sat my siblings and I down and said, “last night your grandpa had a fall and went to the hospital, but when he arrived he passed away.”
I will never be able to fully describe what I felt in that moment as this was news that no one could have predicted. I froze, motionless. I began asking the usual questions like how and why, but no one had an answer. I couldn’t comprehend how someone who was just with me all week could slip away so quickly.
When I returned home, I tried to get back into my normal routine, but it proved to be a bigger challenge than I could have ever anticipated. I would find myself driving home at night and having to pull over because my eyes would fill with tears, clouding my vision. I didn’t just lose my grandpa in that moment, I lost my number one fan.
Almost a year later to the day, I still feel like I am missing a part of myself. Losing my grandpa is one of the hardest things I’ve ever dealt with. It has taught me not to assume that what I have now will be there forever, and that it is so important to tell those you love how much you care. He was the most selfless person I have ever known and I am a better person for having him in my life. My grandpa was the only one who truly made me believe that I could accomplish anything. I miss him every day, but I know he is still cheering me on in heaven.
