6 Challenges Of Long Term Relationships Nobody Tells You About

6 Challenges Of Long Term Relationships Nobody Tells You About

Spoiler alert: relationships aren't all kisses and cuddles.
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After a while...

1. The “quirks” aren’t so cute anymore.

The things you once used to laugh at or casually shrug off, start to accumulate in the back of your mind till one day those little things become majors issues. It's easy to start resenting the other person if you don't deal with this issue.

There are two things you can do about it. You can either let it drive you crazy and possibly ruin your relationship or you can change your perspective of those quirks. Instead of resenting them, start to see them as beautiful pieces to the person whom you love entirely.

2. You find yourself being attracted to other people again.

Nobody likes to admit it, but when the hormones start to wear off, you find yourself attracted to other people. It’s natural. It happens to all of us. Don’t dwell on it just move on.

3. You start to lose yourself.

This might apply more to people in college because this is when you really start to define yourself. While being in a relationship is a wonderful thing, it can complicate this process.

The time and effort that might have otherwise been devoted to developing your passions or interests are otherwise adverted to making your relationship work. When you are in a relationship with the right person, though, you will grow into a better version of yourself anyways.

4. It’s possible that you start to view your relationship as work or routine.

It’s so, so easy to get caught up in the everyday routine of life. This is a very dangerous thing to do, though, in a relationship. It robs it of romance and removes any excitement. The minute the romance is gone is the minute that a relationship turns into work.

Try keeping your relationship fresh by doing something new together instead of staying in and binge-watching the Office for the sixteenth time in the past week. (Obviously, I'm a fan of the Office so don't think I'm hating on it.

5. You’ve both made some serious mistakes and you have to work through them.

Being in a long-term relationship guarantees some mess ups: some small ones and some not so small ones. This is the nitty gritty not too pretty side of a relationship. Nobody likes to admit they’ve messed up but as humans, we simply can't escape our imperfections.

Before it happens, it’s important that you and your special someone know how you are going to work through conflict. Don’t wait till the argument to decide how you want to argue. This will only complicate the entire situation.

6. Your baggage will find you.

Part of me just wants to quote the song "Issues" here but I'll resist. Every person has baggage so don't think you will ever find someone without it. Eventually, it will unpack itself and set up camp right between you and your significant other.

The best way to deal with this is to attack it head first. Don't pack it back up and pretend it doesn't exist. Instead, unpack your baggage, put your things in order, and place your suitcase on the top shelf because you won't be needing it anymore.


Cover Image Credit: Jessica Hunter

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To The Grandmothers Who Made Us The Women We Are Today

Sincerely, the loving granddaughters.
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The relationship between a grandmother and her granddaughter is something so uniquely special and something to be treasured forever.

Your grandma loves you like you are her own daughter and adores you no matter what. She is the first person you run to when you have a problem with your parents and she never fails to grace you with the most comforting advice.

She may be guilty of spoiling you rotten but still makes sure to stress the importance of being thankful and kind.

Your grandma has most likely lived through every obstacle that you are experiencing now as a young adult and always knows just exactly what to say.

She grew up in another generation where things were probably much harder for young women than they are today.

She is a walking example of perseverance, strength, and grace who you aim to be like someday.

Your grandma teaches you the lessons she had to learn the hard way because she does not want you to make the same mistakes she did when she was growing up.

Her hugs never fail to warm your heart, her smile never fails to make you smile, and her laugh never fails to brighten your day.

She inspires you to be the best version of yourself that you can be.

You only hope that one day you can be the mother and grandmother she was to you.

A piece of girl’s heart will forever belong to her grandma that no one could ever replace.

She is the matriarch of your family and is the glue that holds you all together.

Grandmothers play such an important role in helping their granddaughters to grow into strong, intelligent, kind women.

She teaches you how to love and how to forgive.

Without the unconditional love of your grandma, you would not be the woman you are today.

To all of the grandmothers out there, thank you for being you.

Sincerely,

the loving granddaughters

Cover Image Credit: Carlie Konuch

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I Begged For Love

And still never got it.
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I remember when I was in Kindergarten and I was up at around midnight, searching for something. As I found myself in the bathroom, I opened drawers looking for anything and my eyes stumbled upon a pair of scissors. I went back into my room and shaved my thirteen-inch hair to nothingness.

I remember my father coming into my room the next morning and beating me senseless until I told him why I cut my hair. I did this because my father never liked his daughters (he was/is sexist), so I thought that if I cut my hair to look like a boy then maybe he would love me. When I told him this, he started exiting the room and he told me, "You're such a dumb bitch." I was six.

There was a single time during a long car ride where my mother and father made me place my hands on the top of my head for hours until we got home. As I did this without fighting, I asked my mother when we got home if I had been good that day; I was begging for some kind of approval. She completely ignored me, brushed me off, and forced me to do things for her for the rest of the night. I was nine.

My father called me "thing" for as many years as I can remember. Instead of standing up and saying anything I just got up and took it. I took the name-calling to the point where I thought that if I were to stand up and say something, I would get thrown out. So I succumbed to his pressures.

When I told my father about the sexual abuse I'd experienced from my oldest brother, he told me that I should tell CPS so that I could be taken away because he didn't even want me. He looked at me and my younger sister in the eyes and told us, "I need the money from him more than I need you." My hurt was completely disregarded and I, as a young teen, was shown my true worthlessness.

My father worked third shift, meaning I only ever saw him on the weekends if I chose to stay home. I remember writing pages and pages of different letters to him, telling him that I'd do anything to make things feel more peaceful. I remember committing to doing insane things in these letters that no young girls should ever have to do. I gave more of my self than I ever should have, and I still was shaken off like I was nothing.

I've begged for love since the minute I remember any single thing. I have asked and asked for my mother and father to care about my existence, and when I realized that they didn't, I stopped caring about my existence too. I've done anything I can to ask someone to love me and the reality is that maybe I am simply unworthy of love.

I wake up every single morning without the feeling that me waking up mattered at all. I sit in classes, work jobs, sit with people and survey the area realizing that there is nothing at all I can do to be loved even though there are so many around me that are loved by at least someone.

I have begged for love in every way I could have imagined. I still never got it. But I'm done begging, so I guess I'm just never going to get it.

Some people aren't meant to be loved, I guess.

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