6 Challenges Of Long Term Relationships Nobody Tells You About

6 Challenges Of Long Term Relationships Nobody Tells You About

Spoiler alert: relationships aren't all kisses and cuddles.
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After a while...

1. The “quirks” aren’t so cute anymore.

The things you once used to laugh at or casually shrug off, start to accumulate in the back of your mind till one day those little things become majors issues. It's easy to start resenting the other person if you don't deal with this issue.

There are two things you can do about it. You can either let it drive you crazy and possibly ruin your relationship or you can change your perspective of those quirks. Instead of resenting them, start to see them as beautiful pieces to the person whom you love entirely.

2. You find yourself being attracted to other people again.

Nobody likes to admit it, but when the hormones start to wear off, you find yourself attracted to other people. It’s natural. It happens to all of us. Don’t dwell on it just move on.

3. You start to lose yourself.

This might apply more to people in college because this is when you really start to define yourself. While being in a relationship is a wonderful thing, it can complicate this process.

The time and effort that might have otherwise been devoted to developing your passions or interests are otherwise adverted to making your relationship work. When you are in a relationship with the right person, though, you will grow into a better version of yourself anyways.

4. It’s possible that you start to view your relationship as work or routine.

It’s so, so easy to get caught up in the everyday routine of life. This is a very dangerous thing to do, though, in a relationship. It robs it of romance and removes any excitement. The minute the romance is gone is the minute that a relationship turns into work.

Try keeping your relationship fresh by doing something new together instead of staying in and binge-watching the Office for the sixteenth time in the past week. (Obviously, I'm a fan of the Office so don't think I'm hating on it.

5. You’ve both made some serious mistakes and you have to work through them.

Being in a long-term relationship guarantees some mess ups: some small ones and some not so small ones. This is the nitty gritty not too pretty side of a relationship. Nobody likes to admit they’ve messed up but as humans, we simply can't escape our imperfections.

Before it happens, it’s important that you and your special someone know how you are going to work through conflict. Don’t wait till the argument to decide how you want to argue. This will only complicate the entire situation.

6. Your baggage will find you.

Part of me just wants to quote the song "Issues" here but I'll resist. Every person has baggage so don't think you will ever find someone without it. Eventually, it will unpack itself and set up camp right between you and your significant other.

The best way to deal with this is to attack it head first. Don't pack it back up and pretend it doesn't exist. Instead, unpack your baggage, put your things in order, and place your suitcase on the top shelf because you won't be needing it anymore.


Cover Image Credit: Jessica Hunter

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To The Dad Who Didn't Want Me, It's Mutual Now

Thank you for leaving me because I am happy.
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Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn't know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn't want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn't. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn't want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you'll continue to miss everything. You won't see me graduate, you won't walk me down the aisle, and you won't get to see me follow my dreams. You'll never get that back, but I don't care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can't complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that's all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could've been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don't define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Michigan's Proposal Three

Why expanding voting access can only improve Michigan's democratic system

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Last month, the Michigan Board of Canvassers gave the green light to a ballot proposal aimed at overhauling Michigan's electoral laws to add reforms like automatic and election day voter registration and straight ticket voting. A Detroit News Poll completed earlier this October showed "majority support" for the proposal and for good reason. From increasing voter enfranchisement to allowing for voters to vote more efficiently, this proposal can only help Michigan's population be more civically engaged by allowing more voters to get involved in the election process.

Although Michigan's voter turnout of 63% during the 2016 presidential election is higher than the national average of 58%, it is still lower than it was in previous years, such as when it was over 66% during the 2008 presidential election. Also, according to data from the Secretary of State, there are 200,000 Michiganders of voting age that are not registered voters. While this deficit seems small in comparison to Michigan's overall population of nearly 10 million, it is important that any number of potential voters can make all the difference in an important election. Recall that Trump only won Michigan by a little over 11,000 votes in the 2016 election. Maybe 200,000 additional votes could have made a difference. By allowing citizens of voting age to easily register to vote the day of an election through an automatic process that should reduce the level of work on the voter's part. While the specific details of this automated process are still being decided, there should be no reason to dispute Proposal Three in terms of voter enfranchisement, since involving more citizens in our electoral process is nothing if not meritorious.

Another important provision of Proposal Three is re-implementing the practice of straight ticket voting. This means that there will be an option on your ballot that automatically allows you to vote for all the the candidates in a political party in a single action. To explain, you would not have to bubble in each candidate individually if you intend to vote for only candidates of a single party. While opponents of this practice have argued that it decreases voter volition since it may encourage voters to not actually look at who is running for office and vote along overly partisan lines, approximately 30% of voters nationwide did not complete their ballots in recent elections nationwide. This may be because of the sheer number of candidates that larger voting districts may have. Chicago, while not in Michigan, has over 101 candidates on the average ballot. Larger regions in Michigan such as the metro-Detroit area likely have ballots that are similar in length and complexity to Chicago. By allowing people to vote for the political party they subscribe to in a quick and efficient manner through straight ticket voting, more voters may be incentivized to actually come out and vote in elections, which once again leads to Proposal Three increasing the democratic representativeness of Michigan elections.

As previously mentioned, Michigan voters will be deciding the fate of Proposal Three in the upcoming November 6th midterm elections. I strongly urge all Michigan voters to support this measure because, again, there simply is so much civic benefit to be gained at so little cost.



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