6 Challenges Of Long Term Relationships Nobody Tells You About

6 Challenges Of Long Term Relationships Nobody Tells You About

Spoiler alert: relationships aren't all kisses and cuddles.

After a while...

1. The “quirks” aren’t so cute anymore.

The things you once used to laugh at or casually shrug off, start to accumulate in the back of your mind till one day those little things become majors issues. It's easy to start resenting the other person if you don't deal with this issue.

There are two things you can do about it. You can either let it drive you crazy and possibly ruin your relationship or you can change your perspective of those quirks. Instead of resenting them, start to see them as beautiful pieces to the person whom you love entirely.

2. You find yourself being attracted to other people again.

Nobody likes to admit it, but when the hormones start to wear off, you find yourself attracted to other people. It’s natural. It happens to all of us. Don’t dwell on it just move on.

3. You start to lose yourself.

This might apply more to people in college because this is when you really start to define yourself. While being in a relationship is a wonderful thing, it can complicate this process.

The time and effort that might have otherwise been devoted to developing your passions or interests are otherwise adverted to making your relationship work. When you are in a relationship with the right person, though, you will grow into a better version of yourself anyways.

4. It’s possible that you start to view your relationship as work or routine.

It’s so, so easy to get caught up in the everyday routine of life. This is a very dangerous thing to do, though, in a relationship. It robs it of romance and removes any excitement. The minute the romance is gone is the minute that a relationship turns into work.

Try keeping your relationship fresh by doing something new together instead of staying in and binge-watching the Office for the sixteenth time in the past week. (Obviously, I'm a fan of the Office so don't think I'm hating on it.

5. You’ve both made some serious mistakes and you have to work through them.

Being in a long-term relationship guarantees some mess ups: some small ones and some not so small ones. This is the nitty gritty not too pretty side of a relationship. Nobody likes to admit they’ve messed up but as humans, we simply can't escape our imperfections.

Before it happens, it’s important that you and your special someone know how you are going to work through conflict. Don’t wait till the argument to decide how you want to argue. This will only complicate the entire situation.

6. Your baggage will find you.

Part of me just wants to quote the song "Issues" here but I'll resist. Every person has baggage so don't think you will ever find someone without it. Eventually, it will unpack itself and set up camp right between you and your significant other.

The best way to deal with this is to attack it head first. Don't pack it back up and pretend it doesn't exist. Instead, unpack your baggage, put your things in order, and place your suitcase on the top shelf because you won't be needing it anymore.

Cover Image Credit: Jessica Hunter

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7 Things That Happen If You Are In A Long Distance Friendship

People say long distance relationships are hard, but that is nothing compared to your best friend living on an opposite coast.

College is a time of meeting new people and experiencing new walks of life. However, that doesn't mean that you leave all your old friends in the past. Often times, we keep those friendships close, despite the physical distance between us being too far apart.

1. Your sleep schedule won’t make sense to anyone else who lives around you

Timezones can be a pain when your friends live in one different than you, even worse when you have multiple friends in several different time zones. Whether it's waking up at four a.m. or staying up until that late just so you can rave about the new season of Stanger Things, you are willing to do almost anything to continue the friendship. No matter your sleep schedule though, those around you won't understand why it is the way that it is.

The important thing is that you know why and never feel inconvenienced by it.

2. You pretend that your friend lives down the street rather than miles away

Sometimes, a good way of coping with a distance is acting like it's not there. Sending messages to your friend saying "Be over in five for a movie night" won't seem odd to send despite knowing that there are so many miles in between you and them. It's a way of dealing with distance because you both know that you'd do it in a heartbeat if you physically could.

3. But then the distance feels even farther when they are upset

When your friend is upset, most likely you get upset as well. Who doesn't want to beat up their friend's ex-partner or give them a long hug after a bad day? Everyone, that's who. And when you are too far away to either, it definitely makes it harder. Though, you know being there, even if electronically, can still be helpful.

4. You have to explain to anyone around you who you are constantly messaging

If you have a friend who's long distance, you most likely are keeping up with them at a fairly constant rate. That leads to the constant questioning of why your phones blew up with notifications from people from other states or countries. At times, you don't even know how to explain who you are messaging because you know you'll go on a rant about how great your friend is, despite the distance.

5. Around any holiday, Amazon is your best friend.

Honestly, the stress of holiday shopping is taken off your shoulders a bit when Amazon is in the picture. You don't need to pay a ridiculous amount for shipping a gift while also having access to almost any gift you could want to get for your friends. Unboxing the gifts together on video call might not be as good as in person, but you can't help but be thankful online shopping.

6. You have downloaded multiple Apps solely for keeping updated on your friend’s life

It's important to know everything about your friend's current situation since you are not physically around them to know. That means having your Weather Channel app tracking a city you've never been to while downloading a social media you don't even use just because your friend likes it. Most importantly, there is the Countdown app you downloaded solely so you know how long until you see your friend again.

7. The everlasting hug when you meet up again finally

The best moment of your long distance friendship is when the long distance status can be put on hold for even a moment. The hug that you have when you finally get to be physically with your favorite person again? It makes all the 4 a.m. video calls, lonely days, and downloaded apps worth it. You realize how strong your friendship is if it can hold up despite the distance.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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A Letter To Everyone I Have Ever Met

You have made me into who I am today.

This letter is to everyone I have ever spoken to, to those I am really close with, and those to whom I have become distant with. To those who have done me wrong, and those who have done me right. I want you to know that you have all shaped me into being a better person. You either have shown me examples of what not to do, or what the right thing is to do.

You have lied to me, and done me harm. You treat me like garbage to make me understand what I truly want and deserve out of a person, which is not that. You maybe even have taken my friends away from me, to make me realize who my true friends are, I have seen the way you are to me, and to others.

You open my eyes to make me believe that the world isn’t that bad of a place, and that there is still good out there in a world of darkness. It can be even as small as a smile, or a gesture, just to make my day seem a little brighter, and that people are good, and that there is love out there. You were there for me in my darkest of times, you stayed with me through those times, showing that you care, and making sure that everything is going to be okay.

You can say a few words that can completely change the game. Either they are words of kindness, or words of hurt. They all inspire me to do different things, and think about things deeper, and realize that I may be completely wrong, or right about something.

You made me realize that I need to be tougher in the world, and that your words and actions can’t bring me down if you are trying to bring me down. And sometimes a few of your words, can completely change my world for the better.

Whoever you are, and what you ever meant to me, big or small, in kindness or in hatefulness, thank you for being who you were and are to me. You have shaped my world and formed me into the person I am today learning from you, and in all honesty, I would not be the same if I hadn’t ever met you. You helped me filter out the bad, and bring in only the good, people with real love and kindness, which is what I know I deserve.

Cover Image Credit: Amanda Rivera

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