To my person in heaven,

It has been a long time of missing you — nine years to be exact.

Your stubborn self used to always say that I would forget all about you when you went to heaven; you can rest assured that I haven’t, not even close. People say that in life you have a lot of different relationships with a lot of different people but you only find one that seems to be "your person." The person that it feels like was put on this earth specifically for you.

You are my person and I can't help but feel that we didn't have enough time. There was so much that I still had left to learn from you. Everything I do and every decision I make to this day, I think about what you would do. You are the person that I strive to be like every day.

You were so put-together and never would dare to leave the house without your red lipstick on. I always thought that you could have conquered the whole world if you wanted to, you were that powerful. Through every hard situation that I go through, I try to push through it with a strength that is as powerful and intimidating yet also as graceful and dignified as yours.

There is so much that reminds me of you. Every time my mom uses that same perfume you used to use, I think of you. I think of you whenever we order pizza because I know your Italian self would choose pizza over anything. When Mommom bakes pies and cookies and starts saying words that I don't understand in Italian, her kitchen smells just like yours and she sounds just like you.

Christmas hasn't been the same since you left. I miss you more than anything and everyone told me that as time went by it would hurt less; they were wrong. If anything, it hurts more. I wish you could see everything that is happening to me and everything I am accomplishing. You are the first person that I want to tell everything to and I can't.

Even though it has been so long I still find myself driving down the highway late at night and breaking out in tears because I wish you were still here to guide me through life. People think I have my life together and know what I'm doing and who I am, but really I have no idea what I'm doing. You're the one I want to tell that to and the one I want to ask for advice from.

It's selfish, I know. You are in a better place now. But I can't help but want you back here with me, to show me the way.

In the time that we had, I learned so much from you. You taught me to write the date on literally everything (it’s become a habit now), you taught me to forgive unconditionally (still working on this one), and most importantly, you taught me to never let anyone go to bed angry or upset because you never know what might happen.

I wish that you got to know my little brother better. You would be so proud of the person he is. When I look at him I see a lot of you in his light blue eyes. It makes me jealous sometimes that he naturally has qualities of you in him that I have to try so hard to have. He has your perseverance and never-give-up kind of personality. He has your ability to walk into a room and immediately brighten it up and put a smile on everyone's face. I wish that he got to know you because I think that you would have been his person as well (if I felt like sharing).

I wish you were here through my really angry teen years to tell me to appreciate my parents more and tell me that everything was going to be okay in the end. I wish you were there to build up my confidence and tell me every time I was settling for less than I deserved. Mostly, I wish you were there to yell at me and point your skinny finger with that red nail polish at me every time I did something stupid.

You were my rock. You are my guardian angel. I know that you are watching over me to make sure that I'm okay. Every time I start to feel lonely, I read that letter you wrote me and remember that you are always on my side and even if you aren’t here to tell me, I know that you're always rooting for me.

Thank you for helping to make me who I am today. I wanted to write you this letter to make sure you know that you were wrong, I didn't forget about you after you went to heaven. I also wanted to let you know that I am still addicted to candy and sugar and I'm blaming you for that one.

You will forever be my person.

Love always,

Your great-granddaughter.