Why Having A Long-Distance Friendship Is Worth The Struggle

8 Reasons Having A Long-Distance Friendship Is Worth The Struggle

While it may be difficult to be separated from a friend sometimes, remember the universe thought you should meet for a reason.

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If you are reading this, chances are you have a friend who lives far away and you understand the struggle of maintaining a friendship when they are not a five-minute drive from you. I completely understand your pain and I am on this struggle bus as well.

One of my best friends lives 1,964 miles from me which would take me 29 hours by car or shelling out $600+ for a plane ticket if I wanted to go hang out with them. While we aren't able to hang out a lot, I have never felt like they were any less of my friend because I could not see them as frequently as my local friends.

We met through work and became fast friends over our shared love of memes, sassy comments and music. When we stopped working together, I for sure thought we would eventually phase out of each other's lives because we would not talk on a regular basis. To my surprise, the opposite happened and now they are someone I talk to regularly. I know their life and they know mine. Most people ask, "How is it possible for you to be such good friends from that distance? Doesn't it suck that you can't hang out with them?" Yes, it sucks to be separated, but I'd rather be separated by the distance than not have them in my life at all. There's something unique about the long-distance friends in our lives. While it's not ideal to be so far apart from each other that you have to make plans months in advance, those friendships are still worth it. These are eight reasons why:

1. Different time zones can be strangely convenient.

My friend lives in MST and I live in EST. While most people think this is inconvenient, I have found it to be very convenient actually. When they get up, I have already been up for three hours before them so they can text and I will be awake to answer it. When I'm having a bad day or need advice and it's late in my time zone, I can talk to them because they are still awake due to the three-hour time difference. The only downside is when they are awake at midnight and send you a text or call you and you don't have your phone silenced, you will be woken up at 3 a.m., guaranteed.

2. You'll always have someone who answers your texts.

You can't meet up in person and most times calling can be sketchy depending on their work/class schedule so texting is your best bet. Since you can't really catch up any other way, you long distance friend will ALWAYS reply to your text message unlike your friends or family nearby. Plus, you look forward to their texts! You want to know what is going on in there life and texting makes it feel like you are present even when you are not. It's the best way to tell them new info quick or share a funny meme that made you think of them.

3. Travel perks!

I live on one side of the country and they live on another so, in order to meet up, you've got to do some traveling. My friend lives in a state I have never been to and my friend has never been to my home state either. This means we get to do some traveling, see different parts of the country and cross some things off our bucket list while we are visiting each other!

4. Your friend is always there for you, even if he or she is not physically there.

Even though your long distance friend cannot be physically there for you all the time, you always have someone cheering you on. They are great listeners, cheerleaders, advice givers and partners in crime. They are always proud of your achievements and root for you when you doubt yourself. It's really nice to know that someone on this earth has your best interest at heart.

5. You can always pick up where you left off.

I am not the best texter and I am beginning to really hate social media, so shout out to my long-distance best friend for putting up with my unreliable response time. Even though we sometimes don't take each other's calls or immediately answer each other's texts, we can pick up the conversation right where we left it. I never feel any pressure to respond immediately and I don't freak out if they don't respond immediately. We both have lives that are busy and I know we will answer each other when we have time.

6. You have the best memories "together."

You guys probably have so many inside jokes together that you have lost count. You can remember the common interest that brought you together, a band that you both like and hilarious memories that you have made together. When your life is kind of boring at the moment but you still want to talk to your friend, you usually end up talking about your favorite memories.

7. You both know how important you are to each other.

When you're one-half of a long-distance friendship, you know up front you won't be able to see this person every day (unless you Skype every day which might be a tad excessive). Since you're both committed to your friendship, you know how important your friend is, vice versa. Your friend listens to you, understands you and supports you. At the end of the day, he or she keeps in touch because you're important to him or her. That feeling rocks.

8. The universe thought you should meet.

However your friendship came into existence, you know you were meant to meet each other. You have things in common with this person. Your paths crossed in some way or another. You went from being strangers to being best friends. I thank the universe for placing me in a shitty job that allowed me to meet my friend. They have changed my life with their presence and hold a special place in my heart.

Keep those long-distance friendships close and put in the effort because they are worth every inconvenience, every phone call, every text and every day they are a part of your life. Yes, it is not perfect and it is not the ideal situation, but it is better to have them in your life in some form rather than not at all. To my long-distance friend, thank you for always being there and for all the laughs. You will never know how grateful I am to call you my friend.

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To My First Best Friend Who I Lost Because I Was Foolish

We all make mistakes, but losing you was the one I wish I never made.

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When we met, we were young. Two twelve-year-old girls with little to no life experience, naive and waiting for the world to come at us with all that it had.

We bonded quickly over anything and everything (whatever that could have been at this age) and became inseparable soon enough. Hours spent talking on the phone about which PBS cartoon was the best or what kind of boys were our "type" strengthened our blooming friendship and, for once, I felt like I finally had someone I could call my best friend.

I told you everything. I told you about my family and why I don't talk to certain members, and you told me about your family and why you don't know certain members. We trusted each other with our deepest and darkest secrets, we found solace in each other when it got hard to speak and we comforted each other when memories triggered emotions that were beyond our capabilities to handle.

As the months passed by, you became a bigger part of my life little by little. I remember a time where I couldn't have pictured going a day without talking to each other, and it seems like a lifetime ago when we would wake up early in the morning and immediately get on the phone after going to sleep late the night before.

I never wanted to believe that friendships don't last forever, despite what I had always heard. I wanted us to be different; I wanted us to be the exception that everyone could look at and say, "those are real best friends."

But I never took into consideration that sometimes, friendships don't last because one of the parties f**** it up.

We could talk in circles about what happened between us (we probably have) and we'd still end up at the same conclusion: It was me. And, at the end of the day, I think I always knew that I was the detrimental factor in our ultimate demise.

I did what every girl swears they will never do, what every girl says is the absolute worst thing to do: I chose my boyfriend over our friendship, and it's my biggest regret.

It's not that I meant to. I never thought I would even be capable of choosing anyone over you. We were unstoppable and I always believed I could never find anyone to be more important in my life than you, my best friend.

But, when you're "young and in love" (or blinded by what you think is love) you make stupid decisions without thinking of the consequences that will surely come.

I can't remember exactly what the situation was, or maybe I can and I just don't see a point in hashing it out for the millionth time because it only reminds me of what I wish I could change. Regardless, I don't think the details matter when the end result is what changed our lives forever.

The truth is, I don't really know how your life was after the fact. I know that I had a relationship that I dreaded, friends that I probably took for granted, and family that I didn't thank enough. But I never asked what got you through my absence, if my absence hurt as much to you as it did to me, or when you realized that you didn't need me anymore as much as you thought you did.

Maybe I didn't need to know, and maybe I still don't, it's just interesting to see how self-centered I was.

I've grown up a lot since then. I've dealt with some of the hardest things I would never wish upon anyone, I've come to see who I am and who I'm meant to be, and I've acknowledged and accepted my faults and mistakes a thousand times over.

I know I apologized to you more times than you can count, but I know that I'll never be able to say sorry enough. You were my better half, my lifeline, my best friend, and I kick myself every day for throwing it away like it meant nothing when it was everything.

We've moved past it together as much as we can, and we're now able to look back and chalk it up to "silly teenage girl things," but it doesn't mean that it can be erased. Our friendship exists now, but I can't help but wonder what it could have been if nothing would have happened.

2007 is a long time ago, twelve years since we met to be exact. We're both going to be twenty-four this year (you already are, I still have a month to go) and it would have been a friendship for the record books if we had made it this far.

Maybe our weddings would have been planned together. Maybe we would have been each other's maids of honor, and maybe we would have each planned kickass bachelorette parties that would never have been forgotten.

I know I don't want to have kids, but maybe in another world we could have been pregnant at the same time. Our kids could have been born with a best friend already chosen, one that would love and support them the same way that we would have done for each other. And though a lot of kids hate being thrown into friendships with their parents' kids, maybe ours would have been the exception.

I don't know what would have been, and I could go on forever with the "maybes" and the "what ifs" but it doesn't change the fact that they're all simply wishes and dreams, those that were lost the moment I turned my back on a friendship that was always there when I needed it.

You and me, we've found our homes in new people. We've formed bonds, made connections and surrounded ourselves with those who love us, and I think that's great and it's how it should be.

Still, I wish we could be for each other what we once were, what we should have been.

I made mistakes and I walked away from a friendship that was everything I needed it to be, and there's not a day that goes by in which I don't regret it.

And even though life goes on and we had to find a way to go along with it, I wouldn't mind going back and choosing differently. Because I know now that friendships as important and as pure as the one we had should always come first.

Always.

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