At some point in all of our lives, we have dealt with, or will deal with loneliness. Loneliness is defined as, “the fact of being without companions; solitariness.” It can mean sadness, emptiness and isolation. If you have ever dealt with loneliness, you know that it is a tough thing to deal with.
For me right now, my journey as a young wife and mom can be lonely. I adore being at this place in life. I would not change it. However, being such a young wife and mom can be so, so lonely. I have very few friends who are married...much less who are parents too. I cherish the friendships I have and would never wish those away, but sometimes I long for just one person to connect with who is in the same phase of life I am and who can walk with me through that. Instead, that part of me that needs that mutual connection of being a young wife and young mom remains empty. Isolated. Lonely.
What does loneliness look like for you? Maybe you're alone and are essentially friendless. Maybe you are the only person in your friend group who believes the way you do and you feel isolated in your belief system. Maybe you have always been the loner...the different one and you struggle to find anyone who understands you. Maybe, like me, you are the only one of your friends in a certain phase of life and the journey seems empty and unknown.
I want to encourage you: you are not the only one feeling this. This too, shall pass. You will not always feel this way. Remember that you are probably not as alone as you feel. I am telling myself this as much as I am telling you, reader, because I know that loneliness is discouraging, frustrating and sad and I'm trying to learn how to deal with it, too.
Here are three things I'm learning are important to dealing with loneliness:
Don't pull away from the people who already are in your life.
When you feel isolated and lonely, for whatever reason you may be feeling it, it can be extremely easy to react by pulling back from the people you do have in your life. If you see yourself doing this, put the brakes on, and run back to these people. Whether they are your friends or family, the people who are already in your life are incredibly important. They care about you and they want to be there to love you, encourage you and experience life with you. Run to them, not away from them.
Look for unique ways to connect with people who are similar to you.
As I mentioned, a lot of my loneliness stems from being a young wife and mom in a culture where that is not always common. The people I am around are not in that same place in life, so I am always looking for different ways to connect with young wives and moms. Lately, I have done that by following mom bloggers. I am also looking at beginning to attend MOPS meetings in my town. Whether it's reading blogs, making new friends, attending groups, clubs or anything else, look for unique ways to connect with others. This is essential to getting out of a period of loneliness.
Don't give up.
Because it will get better.
The fact that loneliness is difficult will not change, but there are ways to combat it. If we focus on how to get through it and the people we already have in our lives, maybe the loneliness won't seem so isolated and miserable and this phase will pass more painlessly.
