Every day now it seems someone has died
and something tragic has happened. All I can think of is how truly
unfair life is. Some of the greatest people I know, suffer the most
it seems. And why? There isn't any clear answer.
I used to
come up with things in my head that helped ease the pain of losing
people I loved. I used to think God needed them sooner or their time
on earth was finished along with their purpose. But I don't know if I
believe that or not anymore. It's hard to believe that when things
happen that are so incredibly unpredictable and so unbelievably
unfair. I guess I think it's all just out of our control and the
reasons behind things are far from my own understanding. And it hurts
to feel and think this way. I want a happy ending. I want closure.
But I also can't pretend to be someone that I'm not. So in a way I
feel relief admitting the world is a mysterious, beautiful, and
painful place. And that I don't have all the answers like I thought I
did.
The other thing that comes to mind in tragedy is I find
myself asking, "Why am I not dead yet? Why am I still alive?"
And although I do not have the answer to this question, there seems
to be a force pushing me towards not taking life for granted. Life is
not some fairy tale. Life is really really hard at times,
and when I say "hard" I mean excruciating and nearly
unbearable. And yet life can also be heartwarming and full of passion
and inspiring, which we must never forget. Our dreams and hopes and
prayers keep us going even when all hell is upon us. So we must cling
to what we love and truly cherish the people we have in our lives. We
must live in the present without fear of tomorrow, because this
moment is all we are promised. Things change in an instant, and even
the things that gradually pass us by are heartbreaking. There seems
to never be enough time. We want another day, another moment, another
word. But right now is all we know we have.
The greatest gift
our beloved who have passed give us is the ability to live in
gratitude and to strive to be fearless. In the end, what really
matters? Not our cars, not our jobs, not our trophy wives, but love
and forgiveness. The people who stood by us and believe in us. Even
the people who wronged us. We need to look at others as if we are
about to die which allows us to look with eyes of unconditional love.
Will we still be holding that grudge on our death bed? No. We will
have wished to tell them they are forgiven and you love them
regardless.
Life is always still a gift. Today is a gift.
Yesterday was a gift. And tomorrow we hope we have. So do the things
you dream to do NOW. Be fearless and loving and speak with your
heart. And mostly, FORGIVE those who have hurt you. No one is
perfect. We are all a mess trying to figure out this life we are
given. So love with all you have. Love even more than you'd like to.
You will never regret loving others. You will only regret not saying
so in their absence. Today is a gift, take it and be grateful.
