There are many words and phrases that people may use to describe me.
Caring. A good listener. Sometimes manipulative. Blonde. Easy to please.
All of these things I've heard before.
Another word that has recently been added to this list is the word schizoaffective.
It is a mental disorder that combines schizophrenia with a mood disorder. There are two types: bipolar and depressive. I'm the depressive type, meaning that not only do I experience hallucinations, delusions, paranoia, and other symptoms of schizophrenia, but I also experience depression.
This is a real disorder that affects real people, like me. There’s a lot of negative stigma around this particular mental illness, though, because it isn’t as well-known, as say depression or anxiety. People that aren’t familiar with schizophrenia and how it affects people like me may not know how to respond. Which is why I’d like to help you out. Before we get into the tips, however, I’d like to give you an overview of what schizophrenia actually is, because there are a lot of misconceptions about it.
Schizophrenia is a disorder that affects about 1 in 100 people. Schizophrenia does not mean that a person has split personalities – that is something completely different! Rather, it is characterized by hallucinations (seeing, hearing, feeling, or tasting things that aren’t real), delusions (believing in an illogical concept, for example that the government is after you), trouble with thinking and concentration, or lack of motivation. There is no current cure, but there are many medicines that can help alleviate symptoms. It generally starts to develop in late adolescence to early adulthood. However, it can begin earlier. For me, it began when I was 14.
If you would like to know more about schizophrenia, here is a good place to look, however, I’m going to continue with some tips for interacting with schizophrenics.
1. Please refrain from telling us that what we’re experiencing “isn’t real” or that it’s “all in my head.” Many of us schizophrenics are aware of this on our own. You don’t need to tell us. There are others of us out there that aren’t as self-aware (a term that here means: having knowledge that our hallucinations, delusions, and paranoia are not real or not logical) do not generally find this helpful, but rather it exacerbates the situation. Of course, this doesn’t apply to all schizophrenics, but, generally speaking, this is what I have found.
2. Please also refrain from the ideology that we can pray the illness away. Just like praying the illness away doesn’t work for eating disorders, cancer, depression, anxiety, fibromyalgia, and every other illness or disorder out there, it’s not going to work with schizophrenia. There are schizophrenics that do pray because it helps them to stay calm or because it is comforting, but there are also schizophrenics that do not. It is perfectly acceptable for you to pray for us and wish us sanity and calm thoughts, though.
3. “You don’t look like you have a disorder” is a great way to get on a schizophrenic’s (or anyone with a mental illness, really) last nerve. My mom used to tell me that we never know what’s going on inside closed doors. The same goes for the mind. Just because I don’t look like your prototype for someone with a mental illness doesn’t mean I don’t have one. If unsure of what you should say if someone comes to you telling you that they have a mental illness a simple, “Thank you for opening up to me; if you need any help, I’m here for you.” will do.
4. Unless given permission to do so by the individual, don’t ask about their hallucinations, delusions, or paranoia. For me, personally, I am fine talking about my hallucinations and delusions. However, there are those of us that find that kind of discussion triggering or otherwise uncomfortable.
5. Upon finding out that someone is schizophrenic, the only reason you should treat them differently is if you have previously fallen into one of the traps above and are searching for redemption or if you are acting as a support person and are, therefore, searching to become more knowledgeable on the topic. Schizophrenics are not lazy, edgy, or dangerous. We are people. We deserve the same kind of respect that you do. If you’re afraid of us hurting you or someone you care about, then you need to do some more research on the statistics of violent schizophrenics (here’s a hint: schizophrenic does not equal violent).
Schizophrenia can be hard for people that don’t experience it to empathize with, and impossible to understand. It’s important to remember, however, that you don’t have to empathize with or understand someone to be a decent and kind human being. Schizophrenics are still people. We still feel emotions, just like everyone else. Having schizophrenia isn’t the end of the world, but without supportive family and friends, it can definitely feel like it. Our disorder can be quite isolating, so if you know someone, like me, that has schizophrenia, I would encourage you to reach out to them, even if you’re nervous, and learn about what you can do to support them individually. We need friends, too.
