Most people don’t comprehend the severity of food allergies. This has been the case many times in my experience. Phrases like “Just eat it.” “It looks fine.” And “There’s no nuts in that,” never ease my worries, and are all too common.

I was born with a deadly nut and peanut allergy. My last allergy related episode was when I was 2 years old. I am now 21.

“How,” you may ask “could you possibly not have had a reaction for that long!?”

Simple. I am crazy careful. (Note, crazy.) But I feel as if I have to be in order to stay on top of the many hidden dangers of my allergy.

Things that you would never imagine having nuts in them, many times do. Things such as make-up, hairspray, lotions, croutons, Chinese food, bread, fries, sauce, desserts, and potato chips are all seemingly harmless at first, but with a second look can pose serious threats to people with nut allergies. I am always sure to read over all of the ingredients before eating or using anything. I also always make sure I buy a purse big enough to fit my EpiPen in.

I know plenty of people who have allergies and eat whatever they like; they are the people who are fearless to all food. I am not, and will never be that person. If I can potentially avoid a reaction, I will.

Whenever I go out to eat I stick to things on the menu that I know are safe. It is tricky having an allergy because there are many factors to beware of such as hidden ingredients, peanut oil, cross-contamination, and those items, which may contain nuts, or were made in same facility as nuts.

For most, eating out is a fun and adventurous time. They get something new every time and browse the menu for long periods of time. Me? I go in knowing exactly what I want. I have it down to a science now so I can avoid being overwhelmed with anxiety. I never like to make a scene, but just to be sure I always personally ask the waiter if what I order has nuts in it, or is made with peanut oil. Most times the answer is no, however, I have had numerous occasions where the answer was yes and I would feel this great rush of panic overcome me. From there I’ve had to tough it out and order the safest thing possible, or more likely, we would leave.

In my opinion, one of the worst aspects of having a food allergy isn’t dealing with it yourself, but involving others. One of my least favorite situations actually occurs quite frequently, at school, on the bus, planes, circus, plays, just about everywhere. When other people are around or next to you, and they crack open a Healthy nut-bar or worse, a big blue bag of peanuts, what do you say? It depends on the situation. Particles of nuts can end up in my food, on my skin, and I could breathe them in causing me to react as well. I have approached this situation many ways, from cautiously confronting them, to switching seats, or breathing shallowly through my shirt until they were finished. It is so uncomfortable having to tell people not to eat. Of course, when choosing between the two: me dying, or you eating your snack, it seems like an obvious choice so normally I do let them know. But I always feel guilty.

I am very fortunate to be able to say that I have a loving group of supportive and understanding friends, and family members always looking out for my allergy and me. My boyfriend eats as if he had the allergy as well, and for that alone, I consider myself very lucky. My best friend once called up a gelato place to check if I could eat an unmarked lemon ice. My boyfriend’s family, my friend’s families, and my own family are all very thoughtful and cautious when we eat together, and this means the world to me.

Although sometimes it is hard having a nut/peanut allergy I rest assured knowing that I am not alone. I know that there are millions of people who have it way worse than me with allergies to more common food groups such as dairy, and shellfish. It is my hope every day that a cure for food allergies will be discovered in the near future.