Anxiety; it's what most people understand in the definition sense, but rarely understand how it feels to live with. If you asked anyone off the street, they would give you the basic definition of anxiety and what they thought were the symptoms. The truth is, unless you live with anxiety, you do not truly know what anxiety is until you feel the pressure of everything around you.

I feel anxiety every single day whether it's social anxiety, the anxiety of walking into an unknown building whether it be a liquor store, grocery store, or even a bowling alley. If something is unfamiliar to me, then I will have a very difficult time attending an event or stepping foot into a building.

It's very difficult to describe what anxiety is to those who don't continuously experience it. If you could imagine someone slowly lowering a brick wall on top of you until it feels impossible to breath; that is what anxiety feels like.

This feeling is something that happens every single day. I continuously feel anxiety. Writing this article, I feel anxiety. I try to ignore these feelings, but sometimes the anxiety is too much. For years, I have tried to hide these feelings with my "masculinity", but I can't help but to feel insignificant the majority of the time.

True anxiety is something that makes you feel insignificant. It makes you feel like you have no power in the world, no influence, nothing. Every opportunity I have, I try to do all I can to make an impact in my community; however, I'm often held back by my anxiety. This is why writing articles is such a big step for me.

I want so bad for my story to be shared with everyone and it has held me back for a long time. Until now, anxiety has held me back. But lately, I've attempted to just do things instead of think.

Naturally, my mind wanders and makes me think, continuously. I'm terrible with social situations. I have the most difficulty when it comes to meeting people I don't know on a personal level such as friends of friends or someone's extended family. The majority of the time I will avoid these situations altogether because the anxiety is too great. It is truly difficult living with moderate to severe anxiety.

There are many times where I feel as if I missed out on meeting people that could greatly influence my life. Just because of my anxiety, I couldn't do it. And I still have an extremely difficult time battling through the anxiety. I've been called antisocial, a loner, and even a hermit.

These individuals that say these things truly don't understand what it feels like to live with anxiety. Even writing and posting this article I have and will continue to have anxiety. It scares me so much to think about the opinions of me that may be formed whether they are good or bad. I know that it may be ridiculous to feel this way, but it's just how I am.

Next steps and how I've improved.

It takes a ton of discipline to stop your restless thoughts, but that's just what I need to do in order to gain some sort of relief from the vice that is anxiety. After spending 21 years on this planet and dealing with anxiety for almost half of that time, my experiences and thoughts have propelled me think critically about how I can help myself. I've begun making quick decisions. I know if I don't make decisions quickly I will not follow through with it no matter how minuscule the decision may seem. I've begun to train myself to not think too much into the decisions. I will continue to put myself out there and try to make as many friends as possible, putting myself into uncomfortable situations and anything that could better me as a person.

I really began doing this freshman year of college because if I didn't, I would have been living in independent housing and have little to no friends. But because I ignored my thoughts and anxiety coming into college, I was able to join a fraternity and obtain an amazing support group and friends that will last a lifetime. For that, I'm grateful. I want to thank each and every individual who has graced my life with their presence and this gave me the motivation to keep moving forward.

For those who may read this that were once an integral part of my life, thank you for everything that you did for me and most importantly, for being my friend.