One of the biggest controversies I hear in families is about their children cohabitating before they're married.
I understand where parents and grandparents are coming from. Their biggest fears are that their children will get pregnant, they'll get themselves into trouble, or they'll never make a real commitment to each other. On the flip side, as a millennial, cohabitation can be one of the best opportunities for a couple before they're completely in a life vow together. I understand that years ago, living with your significant other was deemed as something "wrong" or "unjust" and people frowned upon it. Today, it is becoming more and more common for couples to live together before marriage and it can also be so helpful for young couples.
Living with another person, you're going to see them on their bad, good, stressful, and relaxing days before you're married. This time together can help you both determine if this relationship is something you really want to do for the rest of your lives. You're going to see how angry they get when things don't go their way, how stressed out about work or school they get and how they handle it. Living with your boyfriend or girlfriend before engagement or marriage can be such a good thing for the both of you. You're going to learn what kind of coffee they like and the way they like it made in the morning, what keeps them up at night and what little quirks that irritate them now. These things you learn about how they deal with all of these emotions can be helpful because instead of learning all these little things that can be essential to a relationship and learned over time, you're going to learn them beforehand.
On top of all these things, you're going to learn a lot about yourself. Before living with someone else, I've always been accustomed to living with my parents and having a chore list from them. Although I dreaded those things then, I never thought a few minor housekeeping things would mean so much to my future. I found that it makes me feel like I'm suffocating when there are dishes in the sink and it drives me crazy when the dirty laundry is on the floor. I'm not sure if being a neat freak is a good thing or bad, but I'm going to give a shout out to my parents for teaching me that. I found that I'm not the most pleasant person to live with, but I do know when to choose my battles and when to have patience with different things.
Living with someone before a commitment is such an amazing thing. You have the opportunity to realize if the relationship that you're in is incredibly bad, or you could realize that the person you’re living with is an abusive person, a suicidal psychopath, or even someone with obsessive compulsive disorder. You could also realize that they’re the most selfless person you’ve ever meet and that you belong together. This could be a make or break it for your relationship.
"He's my best friend and my boyfriend. It takes a lot of work to have that other person around you 24/7. You grow to understand them and appreciate them so much more. It most definitely helps you grow as a person and as a relationship, more than it does hinder it." -Gracie Schardt, 19
"Honestly the best parts of myself I found from living with him. I appreciate the things he does for others more because I see all he does to do things for them at home." -Erin Kent, 23
