Tearing an ACL is life changing. A person can live on their own, do everything themselves and be independent, but once the ligament tears, they can't even walk on their own. The person has to rely on anyone and everyone to help them get to a car, and to drive them home. From there they have to figure out how to get into their own home with the help of their family and friends. They need to be guided safely to their room to make sure they don't fall down the stairs on their crutches.
Tearing an ACL changes anyone's life in a matter of seconds.
I have torn both ACLs during high school softball. Each time I tore one, my life changed. I was as independent as I could be for a high school student. I never asked for help unless it was my last resort. I was careless, going on hikes never watching my step because I knew I'd be able to catch myself. I was reckless, falling over things and never caring because I was able to catch myself. I was clumsy, tripping on flat ground but I never cared because I knew I'd be able to catch myself.
I am no longer any of those things, in constant fear that I will re-tear my ACLs, or that my knees will give out. I watch my step everywhere I go, constantly catching myself looking at the ground when I walk instead of up ahead of me. I am no longer careless when I do anything, with the constant thought of my knees. I am no longer reckless, nor clumsy. Well, I may still be a smudge clumsy, but everyone is!
How do you deal with tearing an ACL?
Dealing with this is a process. You have to understand that you are no longer as independent as before. You have to come to terms with asking for help, even if it seems silly. You must get used to attention, all eyes will be on you to make sure you're never falling down. The hardest part is the mind games, you have to learn to trust yourself and your leg. Trusting yourself is the hardest part because before getting it fixed, you are accustomed to the knee giving out. Now you have to trust that it won't, you have to learn to trust yourself and know your limits.
I am more aware of my surroundings. I know how to handle pain at its worse, and appreciate the time when I am pain free. I have come to terms with asking for help, because there are things I can't do on my own. I have learned to have an active life to keep my knees and myself healthy.
Tearing my ACLs has taught me many lessons I may have never learned otherwise. Now, I'm not saying "tear an ACL and you'll learn so many life lessons!" No, please, learn from my mistakes. Tearing my ACLs in a sense was a good thing for me. My life changed for the better in the end. I am more careful, I am able to ask for help, and I am aware. At the end of the day, I never know if I'll be able to catch myself, but hopefully I won't have to.
