Why is it so hard to live in the present? We can't change the past, and we can't control the future, so why not live in the moment? Living in a society where it is the norm to have multiple irons in the fire, I often find it hard to keep my mind in the present. I have a VERY hectic schedule between work, classes, student organizations, volunteering, and extracurricular activities. It's hard to live in the moment if I have constant worry about what I need to do tomorrow or what I didn't do yesterday, and because of that, I often forgot to appreciate the people, places, and experiences of the present. I decided I wanted to be a better person; a better friend, a better daughter, a better sister, a better employee, and a better student. I chose to learn more about mindfulness and have found these five practices to help guide me through living in the moment:
1. Stop, breathe, and observe. Although it may initially seem silly or like a waste of time, slowing down, taking some deep breaths, and observing your surroundings can be very calming. Sometimes our minds need a break from constantly thinking about what our next step should be. This can also be helpful for dealing with anxiety. I first learned about this when I was having panic attacks. I would feel an attack coming on but my mind would race and I didn't know how to stop it. It was suggested to me to find an object to focus on when that happened and mentally take it apart. It could be anything, but I'll use a painting as an example. I could look at the painting, identify the different shades of color, the type of paint used, what the painting was portraying, and so on and so forth. Although it takes some practice, it works because it gets me out of my head and into the present moment where I can feel safe and happy.
2. Focus on what makes you happy right now. Have you ever been really sick and thought about how happy you would be to be in good health once again? Yet when we are not sick we don't think about how much of a privilege it is to be healthy. We all have difficulties that arise, and I don't want to discredit that, but we do have a choice in our happiness. Make a gratitude list, and when you start to feel down you can pull it out and choose to focus on the things you are grateful for. It is so easy to pick out what is wrong with our lives, but what if we changed our attitude? What if we focused on the good in our life?
3. Stop dwelling on the past. We can't change what we did yesterday. We can only learn from our mistakes and chose to do better today. As the legendary singer-songwriter Johnny Cash put it, "You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don't try to forget the mistakes, but you don't dwell on it. You don't let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space."
4. Stop worrying about the future. Sometimes we can get so caught up in what the future holds that we don't appreciate our lives and the people in it in the present moment. I have really learned a lot about this through romantic relationships. I have caught myself not being able to appreciate my relationship with a person because I am worried about things like, "What are we? When are we going to be officially dating?" or on a less optimistic note, "When are they going to leave?" The truth is, I'll never know the answer to these questions. By allowing those concerns to take up my time and energy I become guarded, and I am not able to fully experience the emotions of the moments I have with that person. And it's not just romantic relationships. The same thing can be said about your job, school, or friendships.
5. Be present. Be there for your friends, family, acquaintances, and even strangers, appreciating people and your experience with them in that moment. Put your electronics away for a while. I know I am guilty of having a conversation with someone, hearing my phone "ding", and giving half of my attention to what is being said and the other half to the text message I just received. Ask people how they are doing, and sincerely show interest in them. Listen to them, and try not to stop listening so you can formulate your reply. Appreciate the things that are being said and the experience you are having with them in that moment. Life happens and people change, so be present with people while they are still around.
By practicing mindfulness, we experience more self-awareness and a heightened sense of appreciation for the little things, and the not so little things that we were overlooking. When appreciation is acquired, we can stop looking outside of ourselves for happiness because we realize that happiness comes from acceptance and love for our current situation, the people in our lives, and most importantly, ourselves.
