Growing Up In Your Older Sister's Shadow
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Siblings

I Love My Sister, What I Don't Love Is Living In Her Shadow

I am not my sister, I am my own person.

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woman alone with shadows from window on hair

Let me start by saying that I love my sister and we are each other's best friends. But we were not always this close. My sister and I are 21 months apart in age which makes us two years apart in school. We are very different people and have very different personalities.

Julia is caring, studious, creative, loud, and well in tune with her emotions. On the other hand, there is me…I am extremely independent, quiet, stubborn, have little to no filter, and don't really share my emotions. So, growing up we had to figure out how we fit with one another while having very polar opposite personalities and tendencies.

While growing up, since we were so close in school, we tended to have the same teachers just years apart from each other. That's where it all began and would continue for years to come. When it came to school for Julia, it was always easy, and she didn't have to try too hard to be an excellent student. She was loved by all her teachers and couldn't be a better student if she tried. This caused there to be a standard for me to meet once I got to that grade. I would get stuff like "oh I had your sister, I bet you're just like her," or the countless times when the teacher would be taking attendance and call me Julia. "Is Julia Gorman here…oh, I mean Jessie Gorman."

The ideals that were put in place from already having Julia made the school even harder for me. I personally have always had to put more effort into school than either of my siblings. It really has never been my strong suit and I know that, so I knew that meant that I would be studying more, getting more extra help, having tutors, whatever it took so that I could do well and get the grades I was going to do. With the teachers having these ideas and me not being able to meet them as easily and quickly as Julia was annoying and uncomfortable.

I wasn't seen as Jessie — I was seen as Julia's little sister, Jessie.

This caused some strain on our relationship when we were in the tween and teen ages. As we both started high school it became less of an occurrence because there were more teachers which meant that fewer teachers knew who Julia was. I was able to build my own reputation and no longer got confused as her. Though we did do gymnastics together I looked up to her more because she had been doing it longer than me and I knew that she knew more. That was something that we really ended up doing together. We also had some of our own interests that we did do separately, such as I was in the band and she did the broadcast program at our high school. We both had our own little piece of ourselves that we didn't share.

BUT… come my junior year and her senior of high school, the band was looking for someone that was experienced in gymnastics and acrobatic type skills. In the back of my mind, I knew that Julia would be really good for this. I first off didn't bring her name up because the band was my thing and I didn't have to be compared or feel outshined by anyone. I did end up bringing her up and she became the "Bond Girl." I was not too happy about it, but I knew that I had to for the sake of the band.

Fast forward to the present day, Julia and I have an amazing bond and an even more amazing friendship. Though we did go through our struggles and still don't always see eye to eye she's my best friend. Even though I will be trying to one-up to you 'til the end of time!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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