Moving away from home is something every adolescent is eager to do. Moving out of a dorm and into a real apartment or house where you get to handpick your roommates is an even more anticipated event. However, picking the right roommates is something no one is fully sure of until they have actually lived with someone.
I have lived with three different sets of roommates since I left the dorms after my freshman year, and all have their subtle differences. My second year of college was the year of living in filth. My third was the year of never being home, and my fourth and current year is the year of living with grown-up children. It is a blessing and a curse that I wouldn’t trade for anything else. Here's a list of things you learn if you live with immature roommates like my own:
1. Learn to withstand obnoxious behavior on a daily basis.
I have an alarm clock set every day, but I seldom wake to the sound of it going off. Almost everyday there are pans banging, people singing or smoke detectors going off. Some people have the ability to sleep through racket like this, but I am not one of them. In the beginning, it got under my skin; now I welcome the day with an embrace for life. No matter the reason, it's nice to wake up to other people and knowing that you’re not alone.
2. Cleaning up other people’s messes.
People are messy; I am messy, you are messy, your grandmother even leaves a few things around. It feels like a burden to be continually cleaning up after others, but it can help you in the long run. Not all of us, but many, are going to be having children someday. They are messier than anyone or anything that you will ever live with. Feeling content with picking up a mess that isn’t yours really isn’t so bad.
3. Helping others when they don’t necessarily deserve it.
We all are going to encounter times when someone is going to ask for our help. We have a decision to make: grant them help, or don’t. What a lot of us will think about when we make this decision is, “How will this benefit me?” or, “What have they done for me?” The other person may not deserve your help, but if you help them out you will also be helping yourself. So make sure to reach that top shelf for your vertically challenged roommate.
4. Motivation to get all chores done.
Bills need to be paid and mail needs to be grabbed. Garbage must be taken to the curb and recycling sorted. The kitchen is filled with dishes and the carpet needs a good vacuuming. What to do? Somehow it has all landed on you. Nobody wants to complete any of these mundane tasks but they are essential to keep a decent living situation. Instead of ignoring them, do them. Lead by example and your roommates will follow. If they don’t just empty the trash in their room and they’ll get the message.
5. How to keep nice things out of sight.
Do you have a favorite T-shirt, coffee mug, or even a spice you like to cook with? Hide it! Hide it! Hide it! If something is really precious to you or you get a sense of pleasure from using it, don’t let anyone else near it in your house. You will save yourself and some grief and resentment towards your living companions. It’s a life lesson that I have learned the hard way with more than a couple of precious items that are no longer.
6. Incentivizing good behavior.
Positive reinforcement has been a proven means of getting what you want. It works on dogs, children, and your roommates. If they take out the trash, offer them a cookie. They clean the bathroom, stick a six-pack in the fridge with their name on it. They unload the dishwasher, offer to cook them dinner that night. Eventually, they’ll start doing these things and won’t even think about getting reimbursed. Who knows? Maybe they’ll start to feel good about doing it.
No living situation is going to be perfect. If it is, then it is too good to be true. All those things that seem to bother you now will not be so bad after you figure out what you can learn from them and how to deal with them. Messy roommates are not the end of the world, and lazy ones aren't either. Do the best to make the best of your living situation and you’ll find it to be a lot more tolerable than it is at first glance.
