There are a lot of ways that being a woman is a lot more difficult than being a man (and vice versa), but when I'm asked to say which part of being a woman is the absolute most difficult, I would personally have to say dealing with the erratic hormones that come along with being female.
Although every human has hormones and every human can suffer due to those hormones (hellooo, pubescent acne!), woman go through a lot more hormonal changes a lot more often than men. And although this is just a normal part of life that women have to learn to handle, it doesn't make the hormones any less frustrating or upsetting.
Some women don't have any issues with their hormones. They menstruate normally, their metabolism works fine and they rarely feel moody or unable to control their emotions. Some women, like me, aren't so lucky and they feel the burden of their unpredictable hormones quite often.
I have struggled with my hormones since I hit puberty.
My mom found me curled up in the corner of my room sobbing one time just because I was PMSing. I actually cry uncontrollably quite often due to my hormones. I've cried because I accidentally put tomatoes in the fridge, I've cried because I didn't have enough time to bake a cake and just last month I was getting a cup of water in my kitchen and all of a sudden became so uncontrollably sad that I couldn't stop crying.
That's just a few of the many issues I've had to deal with due to my erratic hormones.
I've had weight gain and difficulty losing said weight. Once my hormones become more balanced, I lose weight easily and effortlessly and don't gain it back easily. I need to be on a very specific birth control, or else my hormones will go insane, and I need to be on birth control, or else my hormones will go insane. I get migraines during certain times in my cycle and I will feel inexplicably tense just because my hormones have me on edge. I developed early onset adult acne when I was 19 because my body produces too many androgens to handle. I had cystic, painful acne all of my face and back that took months to finally fix.
This past winter was the most troublesome time for my hormones.
I was tired every day, but I was unable to fall asleep at night. I had heartburn every day for three months straight and it would be triggered by anything. If I ate the wrong thing, drank the wrong thing, even if I exercised, I instantly got heartburn.
My acne started acting up again as well, to the point that I had my dermatologist increase my medicine dosage to try and balance it out. I gained a ton of weight, more than I ever had, even though I was walking 5 or more miles a day, only drank water and ate exactly the same as I did months previously. And the worst of all was how moody I'd became.
I lost interest in everything. Nothing excited me anymore, and nothing felt enjoyable anymore. I cried in my closet a lot (I don't know why I picked the closet; I honestly think I just liked how dark it was in there). I was also angry all the time. I felt angry at the entire world and I really didn't like myself. I felt unable to do anything, completely useless, while other's around me seemed to have their lives together and on track.
My hormones have improved a lot since, mostly because I've gone to doctors and because I've started taking one million vitamins and supplements a day. When I can't sleep, I watch ASMR videos to relax me (I know it sounds weird but it works, OK?), and when I'm super tired I ingest a lot of B vitamins to get me through the day.
My weight has improved a lot, but it's still a work in progress. My moods are still pretty erratic, but I've gotten better at taking a deep breath and reminding myself that it's not how I actually feel. My methods aren't always what a "perfect" lifestyle blogger would recommend, but I'm living a real life on a real-life schedule, and sometimes it's necessary to do what I can to feel better.
Being a girl is hard for many reasons, but the constant battle with our erratic hormone's is one of the hardest.
Pill, medicines, supplements, diet, exercise and more are necessary when finding a balance in our bodies and our minds. It also takes months of experimenting with different methods to finally feel like we're in control.
I remember going to yoga one night last March after I went to the doctor and changed my medicine to try and fix my hormones. Since I was feeling better, I finally motivated myself to leave my apartment without even being obligated to do so, and it felt so good to have my body and mind so in sync. I remember thinking, "This is the first time I've felt like I'm actually in control of myself in months."
Struggling with your hormones can make you feel like you're at war with yourself. Gaining control of unpredictable hormones is hard, but not at all impossible.
Although it takes time, effort (a LOT of effort) and many trips to various doctors, finally striking the right balance in your body feels like one of the greatest victories of all.