I recently started dating a girl who attends Wesleyan University. While the new relationship is great, when you first start dating someone you want to spend every minute with them. However, being that we attend different schools, our schedules, both work and school ones, are very different. So finding the best way to balance our time is hard. Especially when you factor in making time for each other and our own friends. Which is actually the hardest part.
You find that you don't want to keep your significant other from their friends because then you become that “selfish girlfriend”, making it easier for your girlfriends friends to not like you. Which is not something you want, because the people you are friends with influence you so much. If they decide that they do not like the person you’re in a relationship with they will not hesitate to let you know. You also do not want to spend all you free time with you partners friends because then your friends feel left out or left behind. This can cause trouble in the friendship and in the relationship.
Another challenge is making sure that you don't spend all you time with your partner, but are properly managing you schedules. There have been times where I am tempted to put my homework, school work, or classes aside to spend time with my girlfriend, however it is important no to do this. If you do, then you're starting your relationship out on a negative note. When you elect to put your education second, you are essentially electing to put yourself second. If you do this, you set yourself up to have to rely on others to survive in life. This seems like such an easy thing to do in theory, but it sets you up to not be independent, rather you become codependent. This is not good for either partner because it becomes suffocating. While this isn't going to happen in a few weeks, it doesn't take long to take effect.
This is why time management becomes crucial when starting a new relationship, especially one that is based on two very different schedules. It is not hard to manage your time if you take a second to plan things out. You make sure to schedule time with both sets of friends, as well as time that you can spend alone together, as well as making sure you leave yourself time to be by yourself. You don't necessarily need to leave a lot of time in the later category, but some individual time is important or you are dooming your relationship before it even really begins. These are just a few of the challenges that come with a new relationship. A few challenges that come with that “double life”.
