In the 6th grade, I began losing hair in one spot on the back of my head. I went to the doctor and they said that it was a condition called "Alopecia Areata." They explained that there is no explanation for why it happens and that there is no cure. Researcher's believe it may be connected to severe stress or anxiety but it has not been proven. Alopecia occurs when the immune system attacks hair follicles, causing the hair to fall out and large bald spots in random places. Over the course of time, many people with Alopecia go completely bald.

This is a subject that I have never liked talking about and avoid bringing up at all costs. I find it extremely embarrassing, although I have no control over it. However, I have recently noticed my condition getting worse; I have decided to write about my own experience with Alopecia, because I don't think I will physically be able to hide it much longer at the rate I have been losing hair, and there needs to be more awareness on this disease.

After that first occurrence in 6th grade, I didn't notice symptoms until again in 9th grade. It was easy to hide because it was on the back of my head, however in an attempt to stop the hair loss I started getting shots throughout my head, anywhere it appeared that the hair was thinning. I was in dance throughout High School, meaning I often had to wear my hair up in a pony tail or bun, and it was extremely embarrassing trying to cover up the spots on my head, as well as dealing with "baby hairs" from new hair slowly growing in (thanks to the injections). I am now a freshman in College, and I still can not wear my hair in a pony tail because the bald spots are too visible. I continue to get the shots every 8-10 weeks, probably about 30-50 shots on my scalp each time I go in, which is extremely painful. There are few options to help relieve the hair loss, or the emotional problems and insecurity that occurs for many people with Alopecia, especially women. I have been fortunate enough to be able to cover it up for the most part, however for many people it is extremely difficult or impossible to hide it, and they ultimately have to go to support groups or therapy.

I've noticed that people have reluctantly asked about my hair when they see the spots and there are three different reactions: apologetic, following up with "Oh, So you pull your hair out intentionally?" or simply just laughing at it. The laughter may because they don't know how to react, they are uncomfortable, or that it is just funny to them. As this is a disease with no explanation, it's extremely difficult to explain to others and even more difficult for the person who has it to come to terms and accept that this is something they have to live with for an unknown amount of time... possibly forever. And no, people with Alopecia do not pull their hair out or have any control over their hair loss, in any way. It is even difficult to even brush your hair, out of fear that more may fall out.

It may seem like a small problem to someone who has not experienced something like this, but it is surprising how a simple, cosmetic thing, such as hair, can have such a negative effect on one's confidence. I have considered writing this article for a few months, but never felt that it was a good idea. I realized earlier this week, that it only has as much power as I give it. If I am upfront and honest about this, without allowing myself to speak with shame, then it is merely a condition of which I have no control over. If I continue to hide, not wear my hair the way I want, or continue to attempt to cover it, then who am I satisfying? It is extra work that I don't particularly want to put in each day... for what? Sparing a few judgements? It just doesn't seem worth it to let this disease control me.

So, I have had Alopecia for 7 years and I don't know when or if it will ever stop. There is nothing more that I can do, other than what I already am, and there are many other people who have this condition. It is often difficult for individuals with Alopecia to deal with it or even come to terms with this disease, and opens up many insecurities. This condition needs more awareness and to be taken seriously (although few people know what it exactly is).

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