Sorry: adjective sor·ry \ˈsär-ē, ˈsȯr-\ : feeling sorrow or regret
"I'm sorry, it's just been a bad day."
"I'm sorry my hair is a mess."
"I'm sorry, but I got a better job offer."
"I'm sorry for leaving."
"I'm sorry I couldn't be the person you needed me to be."
"I'm sorry I can't make you happy."
"I'm sorry I don't have the same opinion as you."
But are you really sorry? Full of sorrow or regret? You shouldn't be.
It seems like every other sentence I hear nowadays is "I'm sorry." Maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, but the message is true. Too many people are apologizing for their actions, beliefs, values and feelings. But why? Why is the obligation ours to apologize for offending somebody? Who ever said it was our fault if somebody was unhappy? I don't let others dictate my happiness, so why should I be responsible for others in the same capacity?
There are going to be days, many days, when I wake up and don't feel like curling my hair and putting on makeup. Am I going to apologize for that? You better believe I most certainly am not. Some day, I am going to quit my job and travel the world. I'm not apologizing for that, either. I like cats. A lot. You hate them? Cool. You don't have to come over. I'm adventurous, spontaneous and a bit more wild than tame. I am not going to be everybody's cup of tea, and that is fine. Do you understand that? It's OK not to please everybody. You don't have to apologize for that.
If you like boys, like boys. If you like girls, like girls. If you want to wear makeup, by all means, do so. Don't want to wear any? Then don't. You want to voice your opinion? I'm listening. Want to travel the world? Do it. Want to stay here for the rest of your life? Yeah, sure. Settle in. You don't have to apologize or justify any of the choices you make. They're entirely your own. The sun rises, and it sets. Regardless of how we feel about it, that is what happens. Be the sun. Do what you do, and don't feel bad about it.
One thing that bugs me so badly is that we let others define our level of joy. I know so many people who feel like if they aren't in a committed relationship, they can't be happy -they don't have any value. Why? Why is a significant other needed to prove self-worth? What is it about being in a relationship that makes emits a feeling of worthiness? Is it because there is a level of desirability? Adoration? Is it the words said that enhances confidence levels? If so, be that for yourself. Take yourself out on a date. Spend some time with yourself. Tell yourself you are beautiful, radiant, intelligent, kind, strong, courageous, capable and worthy. Be your own source of joy. See the beauty in others, but don't seek your own worth through the eyes of others. And definitely do not stay somewhere where you cannot make your own happiness. If you are conforming to somebody's idea of who you are, run. Run as fast as you can, and don't you dare apologize for leaving.
Love is essential to life, but with love comes acceptance. Love and accept others as they do to you. This is not me condoning being intentionally rude, disrespectful or tactless toward others. This is me saying it is OK not to be the person others think you need to be. This is me saying this is your life, and it belongs to you and you only. This me yelling at you to be who you want to be and not to apologize for it. This is me shouting from a rooftop for you to understand that this world is yours for the taking. And the only way you're going to do that is by your own merit, not by the approval of others.
As far as we know, we only get one shot to live this life. Why waste it with "I'm sorrys?" Nothing here in this life was promised to you or anyone else anyways. Enjoy your own kind of happiness, and forget about the rest.
"We are here to laugh at the odds and live our life so well that death will tremble to take us." -Charles Bukowski
