If you know me at all, you would know just how much I once loved social media. I never cared much for celebrity blogs or stuff like that, but I was always super unconsciously and obsessively posting where I was and whom I was with, with pictures to solidify every single second of my day. It wasn’t until I traveled to see my best friend in California and my phone decided to shit the bed mid-drive to the airport back to Arizona that I realized just how much being phone-less for a few days until I went home for Thanksgiving could be a good thing for me.
Eventually, at some point after slamming my phone against my hand and unplugging and plugging it into the charger while trying to reset it numerous times (by the way this doesn’t help the situation at all nor work) was when I lost interest and didn’t care that I didn’t have it anymore. The only genuine concern I had was how I planned to get from the airport back to my apartment without being able to call in a taxi or an Uber.
Long story short, I managed the good ‘ol fashion way by flagging down a taxi with my hand and in THAT exact moment I realized just how much I’ve lived through a screen. A solid five days later without my phone made me realize how consumed I was by social media and how consumed I never wanted to be again. I thought about just how much social media destroys our self esteem, self worth, as well as takes away from being in the moment. Now, I’m not here to say social media doesn’t have its benefits because it does (especially in terms of long distance communication) or to bash anyone who’s viral. Rather, I’m here to attempt to advocate how important it is to BE PRESENT and tell you all the DON’TS of social media.
DON’T check into locations. Honestly, unless you’re checking into an airport, about to be on your way to a new destination (I say this mostly incase your plane goes missing or something) - don’t check into Facebook about your whereabouts. People are creepy and you never know who is using your location to their advantage. Plus, in the nicest way possible - no one cares. *Instagram is the only exception because sometimes you just want to promote where you are so your friends and family can enjoy places just as much as you do/did.*
DON'T use it to check up on people who are no longer relevant in your life. Eventually, letting someone go means that you need to let go of checking up on them as well. Whether you have to block them, de-friend them, or simply deactivate your account not because you necessarily ended badly, but because little things remind you of them. Do whatever it takes to help you move on but tracking their life won’t get you anywhere and in the grand scheme of things, you’ll end up looking like a stalker.
DON'T use it as a platform to express your personal life and feelings. Your Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat friends, etc. are more than likely NOT a licensed therapist. You don’t need to broadcast your anger and sadness to others over the Internet. Be a real human being and talk about it with a friend, a confidant, whoever.. just not the internet because chances are people are screenshotting it anyways to poke fun. And if you’re happy, focus on being present and enjoying that happiness. You don’t need to go bragging about how your “this” is better than someone else’s “that”. Genuine happiness comes from within and being humble is the best way to spread that happiness with those around you.
DON’T compare yourself to others via social media. Chances are just because someone is posting something “cool," doesn’t really mean their life is that great and even if it is, you have the capability to make your life just as wonderful - without posting about it. Don’t compare your life, self worth, or beauty to someone else’s. Selfies are cool and all, but don’t go on social media just to follow celebrities and other people so you can compare your looks and life to theirs. Be able to admire someone else’s beauty without having to question your own. Be able to be so wrapped up in gratitude of your own life that you don’t have time to wonder what it would be like to be someone else. Pictures actually aren’t always worth a thousand words. There’s much more to a person than what meets a camera lens. People will reveal what they want you to believe.
DON’T use it as a form of “picking” someone up. You should not be flattered by someone else liking your pictures as a positive sign of trying to get to know you. Sure, you might not always know everyone you meet online but if you’re truly interested, throw them an inbox message asking for their number to ask them on a date. The like-for-like tactic is weird and super juvenile. If you can shack up with someone after meeting them ONCE at a party or bar, you can definitely afford to be vulnerable for 10 seconds of your life by asking them on a date. Worst comes to worst, they say “no” AND then you move on.
And most importantly,
DON’T let it control your life. Wherever you are, be all there. Focus on the moments you can’t get back. You are not defined by how many views, likes, or comments you get on a post. There’s nothing wrong with snapping pictures to reserve a memory that moment will bring. Just don’t let your phone consume you and take away from the sincerity and joy the moment brings at that exact moment in time. We forget that time is the only thing we can never get back. Be polite and be present. Give that person or that adventure your undivided attention because that’s important. You’ll never once be in that EXACT moment ever again.
Trust me, it’s a lot easier said than done especially in a society so consumed by technology but the bottom line is - it’s okay to use social platforms to share moments (especially if you have a lot of long distance relationships) but it's not crucial. There are a million other things you could be doing other than looking at a screen. Read a book, go out, hangout with family and friends, exercise, learn a new skill. Whatever you’re doing or whoever you’re with give your whole self to it. Define your life by moments, not media.
