There are moments when a person feels real anxiety about what is taking place within their life, even the small bits. Some of these are very specific to personal experience, however, most of these will be relate to you at some point. These little events in day-to-day life are what drives us further into our shells, yet it is not as lonely an experience as one might think - everyone goes through something like these events listed. In a sense, our fear of each other unifies us.
Getting ready in the mornings.
“I can’t wear this, people will think I am ___”.
This thought can be repeated several times, each time placing a new word in that blank until the person finally decides to just wear something low key or gives up and goes with whatever stereotype they think people will place them into based on their outfit.
“I’m exhausted, but I probably shouldn’t have caffeine.”
Anxiety and caffeine don’t mesh well, so this usually leads the person to go about their day like a zombie with a craving for caffeine that they can’t fulfill for fear of triggering a panic attack.
Walking by people on the sidewalk.
“Okay, he’s looking at me. What do I do? Do I smile? That will seem creepy, I don’t know him. Maybe I should just pretend to be on my phone? That’s obvious, he’ll know I’m avoiding eye contact. Ya know what? I’ll just look at the sidewalk. Yeah. Because that doesn’t make me look awkward or antisocial... “
*That person passes*
“Ugh, I should have just smiled.”
Going to lunch
“Everyone else is busy, I really don’t want to go alone. People will know for sure I’m antisocial and awkward. Whatever. I can do this.”
*Walks into crowded cafeteria*
“On second thought, I’m not that hungry.”
“... and then you will have a presentation at the end of the semester…”
“Do I need this class? Should I drop out and take a different professor? Do I need this degree? I mean, do I really need to put myself through this? I could go into the workforce. I could just work at a bookstore. I could just back out now and never have to speak in front of people and be perfectly content. On the other hand, I could attempt to take on this presentation. I could go up there, talk about something no one cares about, then become choked up or forget some vital piece of information and cause the professor to call me out. Receive a condescending lecture, giving the entire class a good laugh at the expense of my dignity. Forcing me to then drop out of school, or transfer, or give up on trying to remain a member of society.”
Do you want to come to this party?
“Are you going to be with me the whole time? I don’t have anything to wear. Will I know anyone else there? Or will we show up and I’ll lose you at some point, leaving me to find a place to sit alone somewhere? Will someone then see me and ask why I look so sad, making me feel uncomfortable and pathetic? No. If I do go, I will have to become extremely intoxicated, or you will have to basically hold my hand the entire night. I’ll pass, you know what sounds better? You go, tell me all about it when you get back, and I’ll just find a good book to read tonight.”
Social anxiety is a common thing, the levels of it that everyone goes through is the only variant. We don’t need to feel as though we are so set aside from everyone else.
