I wake up to my alarm clock with the song, “I Love Rock 'N Roll” blasting in my ears and realize that today is Friday. Tonight is the night that I’m going to be performing at the talent show! My whole body is tense and can’t calm down, I’m going to be performing in front of the whole school. I know that tonight will be my night and everyone will remember this performance. I stand in front of my mirror, and tell myself, “Anna! Relax you’ve been in shows before, this isn’t your first time. I believe in you! Go out and have a killer performance!” I stand up straight and pick out my outfit for the day. Walking through my classes, I spread the word to my teachers and classmates about tonight’s talent show. Many people tell me they can’t wait for my performance. My classmates tell me they will bring all of their friends to the show. I come home with a pounding in my chest to kill this performance.
My mama is the one person who is always there for me, no matter what. Ever since I was a young girl, my mama nourished me with so much love and care. I know I can always count on my mama for anything and lean on her for help and guidance. My mother is an amazing person who is beautiful inside and out. She has a huge heart towards anyone and loves helping others. I gained these traits from my mama and I’m so grateful to have such a wonderful mother. My mama always told me, “No matter what the situation is, never hesitate to tell me and never fear that I will judge you. I will always be there for you, no matter what.” With this in mind, I knew a day like today would be necessary for my mama to be there for me. I don’t need to express these words, my mama would be there for me anyway.
My mama asks me, “What are you going to wear tonight? Are you almost ready? How are you feeling? Are you hungry? You should definitely eat before you perform.” I tell my mama that I’m not sure what to wear tonight and I’m not even ready.
Oh shoot! I have to leave the house in about forty minutes, and I’m not ready yet! "Mama! I don’t know what to wear!"
"Okay let me help you!"
My room has a million different outfits scattered around, there are jeans in one corner, sparkly tops in another, leggings in the other, and black clothes on my bed.
"Oh my gosh, this is driving me crazy!"
"I don’t know what to pick!"
"WOW! I think this could be my outfit!"
I knew this outfit would be the one! My mama tells me to wear the black tights, black shorts, black boots, and a black shirt with a black vest on top. After I pick out my outfit, my mama and I rush to the living room to get my makeup done. Every lipstick, lip liner, blush, mascara, eyeshadow, and eyeliner are scattered all around the room! Blues, blacks, greens, reds, pinks...
"Hmmm, what color should I go for?"
"Anna! This will look perfect on you, pick the green eyeshadow with the brown."
My mama does my makeup beautifully and then I smell the deliciousness of the hot pizza that’s in the kitchen. I grab a cheesy, gooey, slice to munch on before I brush my teeth and get ready for tonight.
Suddenly, I receive a phone call from my friend, Amanda, who I had lost contact with for a few months. To make a long story short, she had problems in her family and took it out on me and wouldn’t talk to me. Now all of a sudden she’s calling and I don’t know if I should pick up the phone…
My mama tells me to pick up the phone. I pick up the phone and she says “Hey, how have you been?” I tell her what’s been going on in my life. I tell her I took the SATs, got my score back, and now I’m going to be performing in the talent show in a few hours! Amanda tells me she wants to be there for me tonight in whatever way she can be. I tell her she can come meet me at the school before six and wait for me by the entrance.
In the distance I see Amanda waiting for me at the top of the stairs by the double blue doors. She hands me a bouquet of flowers and embraces me with a hug and says “I’ll never hurt you again." I automatically accept her apology with a crooked smile and hug her tight after being apart for so long. She looks back at me and sighs with a smile as if it is a breath of relief from having been upset at each other for so many months. We walk down the broad, long, hallway until we reach the wooden door to the dressing room. I hastily rest my costume bag on the floor and we hurry towards the hallway where we enter to rehearse my song for the performance.
At six o’clock, an hour before the show, I felt as if a frog was sitting in my throat and preventing me from singing. My shaky rehearsal in the hallway made me believe that I wouldn’t do well in my performance. At this point, I didn’t think I would perform well and the pep talk I gave myself earlier today suddenly vanished from my mind and I was feeling down in the dumps.
Amanda keeps telling me, “Anna you need to relax and you’re going to be really good!” I give her the biggest hug ever and say thank you for always being there for me, especially now. Amanda is nitpicking at my run-throughs and even though the feedback strikes me as harsh, I’d rather have my best friend criticize me than some random person. She hugs me tight and tells me “Put your whole soul on that stage and make everyone love this performance.” Her advice is easing me away from my fear of failing and I then realize I am going to have a great performance because I believe in myself. After rehearsing a few times, I hear the teachers call us into the dressing room.
What put my scattered thoughts more at ease was that I was going to be performing second to last. This gave me enough time to get ready and prep myself in order to make sure I would kill it.
I honestly can’t believe it’s about to begin so soon! While I am watching the other talents on stage, the little voice in my head was feeding me words of negativity. My mind is telling me, “Anna you’ll be horrible! Why do you believe you can do this? You’re not going to be good!” I push that little voice off to the side and focus on my performance. I know who I am and what I’m capable of and will not listen to some stupid voice telling me otherwise.
I know I can be wonderful, but for some reason I can’t calm down enough and I keep thinking how I could mess up somehow.
It's two minutes until my performance and my heart is pumping so fast. From behind the curtain, I see the crew members giving me looks of encouragement from both sides of the stage. I pray to God at that single moment in time to guide me. As the announcer announces me he says, “For a very special performance tonight... Anna Evseev singing “I Love Rock 'N Roll."
That got me even more charged up than before and now I was ready to dominate the stage.
As the microphone reaches my hand I feel a spark of magnetic energy passing through to me. When the curtains open it feels as though it is going in slow motion because this is my moment to shine. I put the microphone to my face, close my eyes, and take a deep breath and start singing.
As soon as I start to sing, every negative thought that I had fluttered away and completely vanished. I scan the audience and see the engaged faces of people who are nodding their heads as I’m singing and smiling along. This positive feedback is helping me feel alive on the stage. In this moment I truly feel like a superstar.
I see cameras in the crowd and see them singing along enthusiastically, dancing even, as their faces read with happiness.
With help from the crowd, I get down on the floor and the crowd is enthralled with my artistic talent. I get back up and sing as I do but almost falling back, I collect myself and don’t fall. I’m not sure if anybody notices, but the crowd is still cheering me on regardless.
Everyone in the crowd is screaming my name!
When I’m about to sing the last line, “I Love Rock 'N Roll, so come and take your time and dance with me,” I’m nervous that I won’t be in sync with the music because it’s a repeating line. During the practice, I wasn’t in sync with the music and felt like I couldn’t do it. The people in the crowd are clapping to the rhythm of the song and made me feel confident that I would finish smoothly.
I sing the last line on a hunch that it’s the final line. When I sing it, the music suddenly ends and I feel as if a weight was lifted off my shoulders.
I came and I conquered my performance and I proved the little voice in my head wrong. I’m standing straighter and taller than ever as I walk off the stage to my left. Everyone is screaming so loud for me! With the powerful microphone in hand, I hand it to the emcees of the show and they were standing in amazement. They tell me, “Wow Anna! I never knew you had moves like that!” My face was glowing with the biggest and brightest smile as I walk towards the wooden door of the dressing room.
Amanda races towards me with a humongous hug and says, “Anna! Didn't I tell you? I was right! You were amazing out there! Everybody loved you!”
As soon as the show ended, we grab our belongings and go to see my family and friends. My mom, dad, brother Eddie, cousin Steven, and my best friends Andrea and Michaela, were all here to support me! I couldn’t believe everyone I loved came out to see my performance.
My parents who are always there for me are here exactly when I needed them the most. My mom and dad give me a huge hug and shower my face with so many kisses telling me they’re so proud of me and how much I’ve grown. My friends hand me a bouquet of red, yellow, and blue roses. I immediately give them a big hug and thank them for coming. Before my whole group and I leave the school, many parents and students start coming up to me. Some are people that I’ve never even met before. Everyone is telling me that they were in awe of my performance and were so happy that they got to see it.
One comment that struck me was, “I don’t know who you are, but wow you were simply amazing!”
All of these comments settle into me and make me feel loved. I’m extremely grateful to have all my loved ones, and my school supporting me.
My performance helped me prove to myself that performing isn’t just a hobby, but it’s a way of life for me. Performing is an outlet for me and it has become my passion.
I finally got to express my true passion up on that stage. Being bullied when I was younger made me the stronger person that I am today and that mightiness delved into the artistic universe.
The stage is the one place where I feel most content... Where all my problems go away and suddenly becomes the only thing that matters in that moment in time.
The stage is my second home because it’s where I belong and where I want to be.
