"Listen to Me and Trust Me"
Start writing a post
Lifestyle

"Listen to Me and Trust Me"

"What did I do to deserve this?! Have I pissed You off in some way?! Why are You hurting me?!"

54
"Listen to Me and Trust Me"
blurayview.com

I'm really good at arguing. Since I was a little girl I can remember always being smart mouthed and arguing with anyone who questioned me. Unfortunately that hasn't always worked to my advantage. But I catch myself arguing with God too. Especially here lately when I have found myself at a crossroads that I'm not entirely sure how to navigate.

Have Your Voice Heard: Become an Odyssey Creator

Not terribly long ago I found myself at the bottom of this pretty large, dark pit. It was almost like I was walking along one day totally fine and then the next thing I knew I was at the bottom of this pit. Alone. I spent a few months in this pit and the whole time I just kept screaming and crying. I was screaming for help. I was praying someone would hear me. I was screaming because I was scared. I was screaming because I was sad. I was screaming because I was mad. I was mad at God. So for a few days all I did was scream at Him until He answered me.

I learned a few things while I was in this pit. On top of always being smart mouthed I have always been strong willed. I have never needed anyone. I have never needed help from anyone either. I have always been perfectly content with being on my own and being independent... in a sense. I have always been tough too. Too tough sometimes I think. But that's who I am. That's who I thought I was up until a few months ago. In a matter of days I turned into this mess of a person that I didn't recognize. Everything that I thought I was all this time was not at all who I was while I was in this pit.

This strong. independent, tough as nails girl that I have always tried to be, crumbled in this pit and then there I was alone trying to piece myself back together. I spent some time being mad at God while I was in this pit because I didn't understand why He had allowed me to fall in. I didn't understand what I had done to deserve the pain that I was feeling. I have always tried to be a good person. Maybe not always the crowd favorite, but I try to be a good person. I try to love everyone. I didn't understand how that had landed me in the mess that I found myself in a few months ago. So while I was in this pit trying to understand and trying to piece myself back together slowly, I argued with God.

I spent a lot of time being mad at Him then I realized that me being mad at Him wasn't getting me any closer to getting out of this darkness I was in. I finally decided that I should break down and ask for help. Which I'm not good at. I have never been good at asking for help. Maybe it's pride. Maybe I'm just stubborn. But I was out of options. I called out to God one day and I screamed at Him "What did I do to deserve this?! Have I pissed You off in some way?! Why are You hurting me?!" He was silent at first. But I was persistent with Him. "Answer me, God!!!": Finally, in the darkness of that pit that had become my home for a little while, I heard His voice clearly and unmistakable.

"Write. Just write." That's all He kept saying to me. I argued with Him though. I was in pain. I was scared and alone. How could I possibly write while I'm in this mess? Funny thing about God is, He's just as stubborn as I am. He kept telling me to write. I thought for a little while I was going crazy. I'm not entirely sure I'm not going crazy. But I did what He told me to do when I finally decided to get out of my own way and I have never been more sure about a decision in my life.

However, in the last few weeks I've been praying for His guidance once again. And although I'm not in that deep, dark pit anymore, the scars the fall left on my heart are still visible. I've been praying that God will heal them and in the midst of my confusion and worry God persistently keeps saying "Listen to Me and trust Me." I'm not good at either one of those things either.

I guess things happen sometimes in our lives and we just don't understand why they happened.... at the time. But then it turns out that later down the road when something incredible happens to us we look back on those really dark times and it's in that new light that we realize that the reason we had to go through those dark times is so we could enjoy the light of the future.

"Listen to Me and trust Me".

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

6 Things Owning A Cat Has Taught Me

This one's for you, Spock.

2885
6 Things Owning A Cat Has Taught Me
Liz Abere

Owning a pet can get difficult and expensive. Sometimes, their vet bills cost hundreds of dollars just for one visit. On top of that, pets also need food, a wee wee pad for a dog, a litter box with litter for a cat, toys, and treats. Besides having to spend hundreds of dollars on them, they provide a great companion and are almost always there when you need to talk to someone. For the past six years, I have been the proud owner of my purebred Bengal cat named Spock. Although he's only seven years and four months old, he's taught me so much. Here's a few of the things that he has taught me.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

Kinder Self - Eyes

You're Your Own Best Friend

4468
Kinder Self - Eyes
Pexels

It's fun to see all of the selfies on social media, they are everywhere. I see pictures with pouty lips, duck lips and pucker lips. I see smokey eyes, huge fake lashes and nicely done nose jobs, boob jobs and butt lifts. Women working out in spandex, tiny tops and flip flops. I see tight abs and firm butts, manicured nails and toes, up dos and flowing hair. "Wow", I think to myself," I could apply tons of make-up, spend an hour on my hair, pose all day and not look like that. Maybe I need a longer stick!"

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

Rap Songs With A Deeper Meaning

Rap is more than the F-bomb and a beat. Read what artists like Fetty, Schoolboy Q, Drake, and 2Pac can teach you.

23828
Rap artist delivers performance on stage
Photo by Chase Fade on Unsplash

On the surface, rap songs may carry a surface perception of negativity. However, exploring their lyrics reveals profound hidden depth.Despite occasional profanity, it's crucial to look beyond it. Rap transcends mere wordplay; these 25 song lyrics impart valuable life lessons, offering insights that extend beyond the conventional perception of rap music.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

21 Drinks For Your 21st Birthday

Maybe don't try them all in one day...

3614
21 Drinks For Your 21st Birthday

My 21st birthday is finally almost here. In honor of finally turning 21, I thought I'd share 21 fun drinks since it's finally legal for me to drink them.

Some of these drinks are basic, but some of them are a little more interesting. I thought they all looked pretty good and worth trying, so choose your favorites to enjoy at your big birthday bash!

Keep Reading...Show less
Politics

Ancient Roman Kings: 7 Leaders of Early Rome

The names and dates of the reigns of the first four kings, as well as the alternation of Sabin and Latin names, are more legendary than historical. The last three kings, of Etruscan origin, have an existence which seems less uncertain.

5701
inside ancient roman building
Photo by Chad Greiter on Unsplash

It is evident that all this is only a legend although archeology shows us little by little that these kings if they did not exist as the ancient history, describes them, have at least in the very Outlines were real as chief of a shepherd’s tribe. The period when kings ruled Rome could estimate at 245 years.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments