While my family and I are grieving and our beloved family being in hospice, we have ended up going through drawers of endless pictures. There were pictures of me and my cousins at my aunt’s wedding, and polaroids of my great-grandparents, and grandparents I’ve never seen before.

While opening a new drawer, I found a piece of paper in my Mimi’s handwriting. I opened it and read on the top, “5 Steps for Demolishing Depression” written by Randall McQuin. I sighed and knew God has funny ways of showing us what we need to hear, and well, this was one of them.

1. Spend 5 minutes but no longer in thinking about what is wrong

2. Do something both affirmative and physical. i.e. jogging, a brisk walk, scrubbing a floor, cleaning out desk drawer—anything that occupies the mind to some degree.

3. Pray about it. Some people make this a first step, but it cannot be effectively employed until you have reflected on your feelings and had some positive physical activity

4. Indulge yourself—eat one tasty sweet.

5. Do something for another person—a telephone call to a lonely friend, a thoughtful card or a note, a thermos of chicken soup personally delivered: It is vital to take these 5 steps in proper order and to complete each of them. If depression has not left at the end of the process repeat it. Most people will find that it is effective within 24 hours.

I’ve never seen this list before and my Mimi has never read it out loud to me either. It was a sign from her, and a sign from God.

My Mimi would never want us to sit around and be a sad puddle about her. She would want us to go on the planned vacations, she would want us to go to that concert we’ve had tickets to forever. She wouldn’t want us to stop everything and be sad. She would want us to live.

My Mimi was a busy bee. From Girl Scouts to Bone Builders, to be a deacon in our family church. She was always doing something. I tend to see myself keeping busy when I don’t want to sit around and pout. From what I have learned, it has helped.

Praying is one of the ones that really stood out to me. With Mimi being so active in the church, she is someone I would go to for spiritual advice, or if I had a question about the bible. I’ve turned away from God for some time, and lately, I’ve found myself praying more and more each day. I hope when Mimi is joined with God I don’t turn my back. I hope I pray instead of becoming astray again.

Number 4 is a hard one because we always baked sweets in our house. We would grab the family cookbook and bake old recipes that our mom’s mom made, and our great-greats made. We would always bake enough sweets for each household in town and leave enough for Mimi and Boppa because we knew they would love them the most, and the memory that is with each recipe.

Lastly, paying it forward. My Mimi wanted people to pay it forward in memorial of her. Mimi was someone who was a part of Faith in Action and helped with Everybody Eats. She was always paying it forward and never would complain.

Finding this list brought comfort to my heart and tears to my eyes. Even though she’s not with us anymore, she will always be in our hearts. This is just part of her legacy.