Remember daydreaming as a little girl of after searching for what seemed like forever, you finally found and then married your forever true love? Remember when that dream still didn't come true?
Yeah, me too.
It's pretty obvious, but dating is not the same as it was. It just isn't. I always love when my mom tells me the story of how she met my father:
"We both worked at Beachwood Mall. I worked at the teddy bear store (keep in mind this is the 80s) and he worked at the bank there..."
That's already an "awww" story, but there's so much more meaning to it. You see, our grandparents, our parents, and even some of our older siblings have stories to tell of how they genuinely found love. Lots of them sound like rom-com movie plot lines or even a story you would tell to kids on a night without any giant flat screens due to severe weather.
"Mommy, how did you meet daddy?"
What am I supposed to tell my future daughter in a world full of fake love and illusional relationships?
Today, we don't love people. We grab what we can, devour every inch of it, and then once we get our high we simply find no use for it anymore. People aren't people anymore - they're objects.
Now, I understand that not everyone practices this disturbing mindset, but think about it. No, really, stop and think about it.
Years ago, there was no technology. Without technology, people actually had to interact with each other (I know I sound like grandpa, but hear me out). As a result, sometimes a genuine connection was made, resulting in life friends or even life partners.
Our technology is a blessing yet also a curse. Sure, it's fun catching Eevee when we should be studying or sending funny Snapchats to friends who would relate best to them.
And then there's Instagram and Tinder.
Instagram - a fun way to share what you have with the world, right?
Tinder - a great way to meet someone "different from the rest"?
You post a selfie one day. You receive a notification that a guy who you think, for the most part, has always been nice and genuine towards you has "liked" your photo.
Or, you swipe right and he swipes right back, which is also an indication that he "likes" you. (Cue your little victory dance).
"Does he like me?" Don't lie, this is your first initial feedback.
He hits you up, plans a "date", and then you're smitten. Completely smitten. Because remember, anytime a guy is extremely nice to us, we usually take it for flirting or attraction. Especially if we find him extremely attractive. And this is not our fault, it's our generation's way of lying to us about true love.
Date happens (restaurant or movie usually of your choice, he pays because 'gentleman') and he may even kiss you once. Or twice. Or do more than that.
Dates are simply not dates anymore - they are hookups. Admit it. They never provide any stories to tell for the ages, except for ones later on in life that lead you to the long discussion of regrets or your next topic to cry about at your Alcohols Anonymous meeting years later.
Reason I bring up that example is because today's "relationships" are causing us more hurt than ever. Depression, more drinking, low self esteem, and competition.
Because right when he likes another girl's picture, you know how that mental process tends to go. But that's a whole other article.
Have we simply lost the power to love? We hardly get to know each other (except for how far we've gone). We forgot to how to genuinely kiss (because today that's considered 'innocent'). We wear caution tape on our sleeve (instead of our hearts) because we simply don't know if we will shatter. And we can thank it all because of social media.
Will we always be this way?
Well, I still miraculously have strong hope that we can get through this mess. I suggest that you join me and together, we will all find our true loves someday. Social media is a fad, not a permanent life dedication.
"This too shall pass", a very wise person once told me. And more than likely told you too.
Until then, give your time to someone who actually likes you, not someone who likes your filtered pictures, body, or how plastered you can get at a party.
Keep in mind, there is nothing wrong with using Instagram or Tinder, I'm not saying you should delete it forever - just use it wisely and stay true to yourself. Always.
Remember that it is never you. Ever. Just because someone is stuck in the field of abusing love doesn't mean you are not good enough to love and be loved.
Continue to love people. Love them through communication. Love them by getting to know them. Love them for the little things they do. Love like our ancestors loved. Someone will see you for you one day and not just for your physical qualities. They won't care if you had only 14 likes on your Instagram posts because they'll know you were too good for all that crap. They will understand your beautiful big heart inside and out - promise.
And one day, I'll be able to tell my daughter with a smile on my face,"Well, it's actually a great story how I met your father..."