Common knowledge to all children in families, parents play such a large role in shaping their children and their identities, not only by genetic traits, but also by the environment they create when raising them. Their presence and influence is so inherent and unquestioned that it is often overlooked. Yet more and more, as I approach my 18th birthday--the legal status of being an adult--I realize the extent that I have become so similar to my parents, especially my mom.
These moments, when I catch myself behaving as one of my parents would, came much to my surprise. Having recognized the dependence that I had on my parents, I have, over the past few years, created a space between us where I could exert control and claim responsibility over my own life. Both more than willing to provide anything for their only daughter, my parents were omnipresent in my life. If I complained about classes, they would talk about emailing--not the teacher--but the principal to sort things out. If I forgot class materials at home, they would readily pick it up and hand it to me at school. As much as I appreciated their willingness to help, I seriously lacked independence, so, unintentionally in response, I left my parents out of the loop when it came to different activities.
With the freedom I had gained, I thought I would develop my own identity with my own interests. However, within the past few months, I often notice myself acting like my mom.
My mother, a perfect archetype of a caring parent, is always the first person the respond to others needs; on the other hand, she is always the one to compromise and take the short end of the stick. In some situations, when holding a conversation, I find my mother's advice and her concern spill out instead. And when others encounter a rough situations, I find the urge and need to help, just as my mother would always care for my family and her friends.
Although I anticipated finding similarities between my mom and myself, never did I expect to make the realization only until later in my adulthood. But regardless of how far we move away from our parents whether it be the distance we leave between their lives and ours or the distance we travel, there is no doubt about how pivotal they are in our lives.
