When school lets out for summer, we return our books in exchange for our work uniforms. Some people work seasonally over the summer while others rack up their hours when they resume a year-round position. Regardless, summer employment can make for amazing experiences. In addition to a hearty paycheck, you get to meet and connect with people you may not have had the chance to meet otherwise and make lasting memories.
Water parks and pools harbor many summer workers, including the iconic tall, tan lifesavers from "Baywatch."
Who are we kidding? Lifeguarding is nothing like "Baywatch."
Here's what lifeguards won't tell you:
No more normal swimsuits for you.
I mean, unless you're into the whole "X-and-O" look, then by all means go right ahead. So long to the days of being subtly sun-kissed. Hello, permanent skinsuit.
Stay away from the kiddie area.
Easily detectable by warmer water and parents who only pay attention to their children when you correct their darling little angel's bad behavior.
I'm talking to you, Wendy Peffercorn. Warning signs of Squints include but are not limited to:
"Lifeguard, if I drown, will you save me?"
"I want to hear you blow your whistle. Come on, lifeguard, it'd be funny!"
"Are you gonna give me mouth-to-mouth if I drown?"
Whistles are a nutritious part of a balanced diet.
Nothing is as satisfying as that crunch when the loose piece of whistle finally relinquishes from your mouth, and nothing is as attractive as when you sputter little remnants of whistle all over your post as a result. It is quite endearing, really.
(I should probably stop gnawing my way through my whistles, but it's fine.)
Fanny packs* are cool, and you're wrong if you think otherwise.
*Also known in some facilities as hip packs*
You know how all of those cool kids sport fanny packs at Coachella? You can thank your friendly neighborhood lifeguards for getting that trend up and running. Gone are the days where it was considered "nerdy" to rock a seemingly bottomless storage unit at the convenience of your hips. Need your ID or money? Unzip your hip, and carry on with your life!
The tans may fade, but the memories last forever.
The bonds made between co-workers go unmatched with other friendships. For lifeguards, in particular, you all share a common desire for even tan lines, reasonable break time, a common dislike for sloppily wrapped guard tubes (you know who you are) and rescues in the rain. So strap on your fanny packs and don't forget your shades—another season of fun in the sun awaits!