In school you always knew the cheerleaders. Even if it wasn't personally, you at least knew of them. They had perfect hair, perfect makeup, cute little skirts, had the best bodies and always had a sweet scent as they swished past you in the halls. However, all that glam and glory does not come easy. A cheerleader in her own home is a very different thing to behold. These cute little pixies that can lift full grown people are the biggest hot messes you've ever seen when they're away from the public eye. Here is what life is like living with a cheerleader.
At first you'd think it'd be glorious. Every morning you'd get to see them leap out of bed already looking fabulous. They'd go for a morning run, then do a little spin and they'd be ready for the day. You've never been so wrong in your life. In the mornings, a cheerleader has the hardest time getting out of bed because they were up late the night previous. What they were doing up so late is dependent on the girl. When they wake up, though, it's always a struggle and relatively quiet. Once they're up and going, though, it suddenly gets loud. That "cheerleader voice" that you can hear across the football field in perfect clarity is not something they leave behind. It's all the time. They will shout at top volume till they find that tank top they're looking for, and even after. Good luck sleeping in.
That glorious, pristine makeup that we all know and envy looks like just a few swipes of a brush right? No. Wrong. Far from right. They use at least two full makeup bags to get that way. There's a reason they're always in the bathrooms doing touch ups. If they don't, you might realize that it isn't easy to look that great. That's not even touching on the hair. I've had mornings where I almost suffocated from all the hair care products in the air. Bring a gas mask people, because if the obnoxious scent of the perfume doesn't kill you, the hair spray surely will.
Finally, after an hour struggle of putting themselves together, it's time to get dressed and collect their things. Picking an outfit is generally the easiest part of the morning. They grab their favorite jeans, a fashionable top, and BAM! They're super cute. Now it's time to break out the earplugs and hold that pillow over your head to block the sound. That "cheerleader voice" kicks it up a notch at this point, because they can't find anything they need. From my experience (I'm not saying this is for every cheerleader, just all the ones I've known), they are the most scatterbrained blondes you'll ever meet. They lose EVERYTHING! "Where are my poms!?" "Foot of your bed!" "I can't find my duffel!" "By the door!" "GAH! My cheer shoes (which are totally different from regular athletic shoes) are missing!" "Under the couch!" This will go on even past them going out the door. As soon as you think they're gone and it's quiet, they will call and ask you to bring up something that they forgot.
At last, class has begun, and the calls have stopped. It is quiet, and you can be at peace. Oops! Nope! Those few hours of rest have just flown by faster than a speeding bullet. Before you even know what hits you, BAM! They're home. They explode through the door, and that "cheerleader voice" somehow amplifies. First, they throw their stuff wherever it falls on their way to the kitchen. Then they eat a meal too big for even a full grown man to finish. At last, they can get down to business. They have to starch their bows, do their homework (loudly), and practice. Don't even get me started on the provocative dances these girls have to learn.
When they practice, I don't mean stepping into the backyard to do a few dance moves then come inside. No, they stop in the middle of the largest room in the house (Generally, the living room while you're in the middle of that one super intense episode of your favorite show), and start clapping and stomping. It echoes! Their little, Barbie hands echo! It takes them at least 3 hours of stomping, clapping, and flailing to decide that they've done enough for the night. They, at last, go and change into something a bit more comfortable. They enter their room, and 30 seconds later (somehow) they return makeup-less, in sweats, and barefoot. Remember how I said they were hot messes? Here it is. All that glam and fashion that you envy so much just vanishes. Poof! It takes over an hour to get ready, and 30 seconds to undo it all. I don't understand how the world works for them, but it happens. I've used a timer and I still don't understand.
At last, the day has ended and the cheerleader has gone to bed after however many hours they stayed up doing random things. It's finally over. You can rest in peace. But good luck, because it's only Monday. You have to deal with that every morning for the rest of the year. Not even Summer is safe. Cheerleaders have summer camps. Yes, life with a cheerleader is insane and hectic and loud. You never get a moment's rest. But never in my life have I seen anyone work as hard as these girls do. They barely sleep, can only just barely get their work done, and make time to actually eat meals. The world works in strange ways for cheerleaders, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Because, honestly, who can resist their cute little hair flip?
This article has been approved by a cheerleader.
