We’ve all loved and lost. But you never really know loss until you lose the one you love. Death is messy, sad and inevitable. Sometimes the one you love is gravely ill and you have time to mentally prepare yourself, there are times it’s sudden and unexpected, and times it is self-inflicted. But no matter how the one you love passes, you’re never ready. Many times we want to be selfish and wish for our loved one to be with us here on Earth. We miss them; want to hear their voice; have one last hug. You never know when you’re going to spend your last moment with someone. Don’t take any moment you share with someone for granted.
Grieving is hard and confusing. There may be self-help books on the 5 stages of grief and how to get through all the stages, but we are all different. We all handle crisis situations uniquely. A book can’t really fill the void, can’t heal the wounds. Nothing will ever be the same now that they’re gone. Your world is forever changed and you know this the moment they're gone. You have to adapt to this new uncharted territory. The adaption is the hardest part. Family dynamics are forever altered. You end up in this weird limbo where the loss can tear you all apart or pull you closer together.
It doesn’t get easier. You just learn how to live in the world without them. You still have a void in your heart that their death left, but you learn to cope with it. The worst part is life events that you had always thought they would be apart of. You imagine on your graduation day looking up into the crowd and seeing them there, beaming with pride. You dream of your wedding day and them there to dancing, laugh, and enjoy all the moments with you. You thought they would be there for the birth of your children, loving seeing you expand your family. You had always thought they would be there for all the big things in life. You can’t prepare yourself for that. No matter how long they’ve been gone, it’s still hard when those days come and go.
While experiencing the loss and learning how to grieve, you can learn a lot about yourself. You learn that grieving is about yourself. You see that the grief process is for you and healing your soul. They aren’t hurting anymore, but you hurt now. It's okay to grieve the loss for however long you need, but you know they wouldn’t want you to put your life on hold at their expense. If you truly know where they’re going after death, it gives you a sense of hope because you know that one day you will see them again.
