When you are poor, people will despise you; that’s the truth of the culture for most Vietnamese people. My mom was also born in a poor family because of the effects of Vietnam War in the 1970s, so she could never have a good education even though she loved to go to school. At the age of 12, instead of coming to school, she had to sell roasted yam and cassava on the streets to earn a little bit more money to raise her other five siblings. The poverty never left my mother easily. After divorcing, she was busy most of the time because she always worked hard to raise us. Therefore, I usually took care of my sister after coming back from school. Luckily, my sister was so obedient, nice and intelligent. We were so closed with each other; we usually sang and watched TV with each other. Her favorite song was “I have nothing” (Whitney Houston) because I usually sang that song loudly. Moreover, she also liked Girls’ Generation which was a Korean girl group. In addition, I used to teach her some basic math when I was free, and she learned so fast.

The three of us usually hung out at the weekends, and my mom sometimes bought few beautiful dresses for her when she had money. I and my mom always thought we should give my sister all the best things we had because my sister did not get enough love from her father. When the timeline marked at seven years, my mom earned enough money to buy a small apartment for us to live. It was like a rainbow after a heavy rain. Conversely, this life was never fair for us. The sky cannot always be dark, but it does not mean there will be sunshine immediately. Few months later, my sister was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor after getting a spinal marrow’s test. I and my mom were so shocked and could not believe what was happening because my sister was always a healthy kid. She was so active, and she even had perfect scores of every single exam in her class. Unlike most of patients who would look so weak and gloomy when suffering a serious sickness, my sister was so optimistic.

“Mommy! Don’t worry! I promise to be better. I really want to go back to school. I miss my teachers and my friends. By the way, mom! Can you please promise with me that we will go back to your hometown and live there forever? I miss my grandmother a lot.”- She even tried to make a deal and support us when she realized we looked so sad and tired.

“By the way, I really want to meet my dad. I hope your relationship with dad can be healed a little bit…”

My sister passed away after getting three surgeries to remove her brain tumor and its blood clots because she was too small to suffer. She was in serious comatose and never woke up again because her brain was dead. I remember her eyes could not open, but her tears kept dropping a lot until her last breath. It was the most terrible moment in my life when I could not even shed a tear during my sister’s funeral. I had to be strong I did not want her sister to be worried about me and be not able to go to the heaven if she saw me cry a lot.

Those last words of my sister in the hospital I still remembered. A flower fell when it even had never had any chance to flourish yet. It has been the fourth year since I lost my sister. I still regret that I did not record any video of my sister when she was still alive because I thought we still had lots of time with each other. Otherwise, I also feel so bad that before her last surgery, I could not see her the last time when she was still conscious because I had to stay at home to cook for my grandmother and my mom. I remember the last sentence I talked with her through my cell phone at the night before her surgery was “Hey sis, please be better, and then we can hang out and go to our mother’s hometown. Love you!”. My sister smiled a lot and promised me to be better. However, she never had chance to see this beautiful world again...

(to be continued)