A Day In The Shoes Of Someone With G.A.D. | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

A Day In The Shoes Of Someone With G.A.D.

I do not have "General Anxiety Disorder" I have a gift of aspiring for greatness.

54
A Day In The Shoes Of Someone With G.A.D.
Youtube

The Morning List:

Wake up at 4 AM

4:00-4:10 Brush teeth, Wash face, Throw on make-up: Mascara, Matte Lip Stick.

4:10-4:20 Get dressed: Neutral Colors, Apron, Hat, leather shoes.

4:20-4:35 Eat breakfast.

4:40 Power walk to work.

5:00 Punch into work.

The Bread Winner List:

12:00 PM Clock out, Speed walk home.

12:15 (The latest I may arrive home from speed walking) Get in the shower

12:30 Get out of the shower.

12:30-12:40 Get dressed for Second Job

12:40 Eat SOMETHING

1:00 Leave for Work

2:00 Clock in

5:30 Clock out

5:45 Be on a Train

6:00 Get on a Bus

6:55 Arrive to class

8:45 Get to the bus before it leaves according to MTA BUS TIME

Study notes while on the bus

9:30 Arrive home,

Good Night List: (Get done before Midnight)

Pack snacks for next day,

Arrange Clothing for next day

Arrange Bag for the next day duties

Clean your room

Wash the Dishes

Shower again and Brush teeth (Usually done at the same time)

The Positive Thoughts List:

Stop worrying about the future.

Make today, and each moment count and in practice will make the future count.

Focus on being on time, being early, being efficient.

Learn from others mistakes.

Forgive yourself for all the mistakes and embarrassing things you have said and done. They no longer define you. They don't define you. What you do, and how you react now defines you.

Forgive others for hurting you, forgive them, stop thinking about what you want to say to them. Let them go, and pray for their peace.

Don't worry about money, don't worry about the statistic that families in poverty mean's most likely the children will live in poverty.

You have more opportunities than your parents, find them and take them.



Having GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) and Dyslexia: makes life a little harder but my mother raised me to believe that these two parts of me do not exist. She never told me how to tame them.

The repeated unwanted thoughts, the fear, the pounding heart beats, the traumatizing memories reoccurring over and over. The constant fear I have every day of feeling incompetent every day, feeling like I am losing control over everything; my emotions, my feelings, my thoughts, my capabilities, my talents, my strengths. The hardest part of all is taking care of myself and falling into self-helplessness.

I make about 4 lists or more a day. The lists vary on priority, on duties, on responsibilities to do throughout the week, ideas and passions to pursue, what food to eat, what needs to be done at a certain time, what has not been done that should be done. Basically, any thoughts that rush in my mind that I believe I must do in order to be competent, to be happy, to be successful, to be in control.

The list making brings a rush of serenity over me because I am taking the first step by acknowledging my fears and organizing my incompetence to become competent.

The next step is to actually do everything on the lists. Now, sometimes I skip a thing or two and I swear I would not be able to fall asleep until everything on the lists got done. Sometimes I would not sleep till 2-3 am and become sleep deprived which caused more anxiety, forgetfulness, and incompetence. Which causes me to stress out, lash out, and eventually have a panic attack.

It becomes hard to take care of myself because by making these lists, by trying to be the person I strive to be I believe I am taking care of myself. It's a transparent illusion. All I want to do is be organized, neat, adequate, empowered, compassionate, caring, listening, hard working, successful, work two jobs, go to school over time to be become an artist, neurologist, psychologist, public education administrator, astronomer, inventor, keynote speaker, human rights and legal advocate lawyer, join the Peace Corps, end world hunger, reverse climate change, help the homeless find homes and normal lives, end capitalism, inspire others, be a writer, journalist, professor, and travel the world. Maybe if I have time and if being a woman still isn't an issue, I can become President too.

Yes, yes. I know how crazy and impossible that all sounds. I want to do too much and do it well. I have recently finally understood that taking care of myself comes first, and I have to focus on one or a few at most goals in order to get them done adequately, professionally, and efficiently. However, being ambitious is part of who I am, just like having a so called "disorder" is part of who I am. I see them as gifts.

The Gift of having GAD:

The rush of my thoughts, heart beat, and uncontrollable nervous ticks become my superpower when it comes to needing to get a task done. Working at Starbucks, when my anxiety is at its highest to not mess up and be "perfect." I start doing customer support, cleaning, making drinks, refilling ice, re-stocking, anything that I see needs to be done.

When forgetting I have a paper and needing to get it done the night before, I type faster with 5 fingers (2 on the Left and 3 on the right) than someone with ten fingers. (Or so I think so, I'd have to compete with someone to test this theory).

Always seeing things in a different, new, innovated, perspective. It may take me longer than it should to figure out and make sure what my right and lefts are. Or figure out a math problem/equations in different ways.

I encode differently, explain, and vision things in a way where it makes sense to me, and I can get the same work done as the person next to me but in my own way. It gives me a different way of approaching things.

The only thing that stops me and starts me is my fear. I use to be fearless at one point, but after a while, they started to catch up to me. My greatest fear is not reaching my furthest potential and having my fears hold me back.

Which I have taken the time to be alone with myself. To be my own best friend, and take care of myself. How can I become President if I don't?

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Entertainment

Most Epic Aurora Borealis Photos: October 2024

As if May wasn't enough, a truly spectacular Northern Lights show lit up the sky on Oct. 10, 2024

179
stunning aurora borealis display over a forest of trees and lake
StableDiffusion

From sea to shining sea, the United States was uniquely positioned for an incredible Aurora Borealis display on Thursday, Oct. 10, 2024, going into Friday, Oct. 11.

It was the second time this year after an historic geomagnetic storm in May 2024. Those Northern Lights were visible in Europe and North America, just like this latest rendition.

Keep Reading...Show less
 silhouette of a woman on the beach at sunrise
StableDiffusion

Content warning: This article contains descriptions of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

When you are feeling down, please know that there are many reasons to keep living.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

Power of Love Letters

I don't think I say it enough...

446604
Illistrated image of a letter with 2 red hearts
StableDiffusion

To My Loving Boyfriend,

  • Thank you for all that you do for me
  • Thank you for working through disagreements with me
  • Thank you for always supporting me
  • I appreciate you more than words can express
  • You have helped me grow and become a better person
  • I can't wait to see where life takes us next
  • I promise to cherish every moment with you
  • Thank you for being my best friend and confidante
  • I love you and everything you do

To start off, here's something I don't say nearly enough: thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You do so much for me that I can't even put into words how much I appreciate everything you do - and have done - for me over the course of our relationship so far. While every couple has their fair share of tiffs and disagreements, thank you for getting through all of them with me and making us a better couple at the other end. With any argument, we don't just throw in the towel and say we're done, but we work towards a solution that puts us in a greater place each day. Thank you for always working with me and never giving up on us.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

11 Signs You Grew Up In Hauppauge, NY

Because no one ever really leaves.

19960
Map of Hauppauge, New York
Google

Ah, yes, good old Hauppauge. We are that town in the dead center of Long Island that barely anyone knows how to pronounce unless they're from the town itself or live in a nearby area. Hauppauge is home to people of all kinds. We always have new families joining the community but honestly, the majority of the town is filled with people who never leave (high school alumni) and elders who have raised their kids here. Around the town, there are some just some landmarks and places that only the people of Hauppauge will ever understand the importance or even the annoyance of.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Moana's Top 10 Life Tips

"Moana" is filled with life lessons that involve far more than finding true love as many other Disney movies do.

43399
Animated image of a woman with long dark hair and tattoos
StableDiffusion

1. It's easy to be fooled by shiny things.

Digital image of shiny gemstones in cased in gold. shiny things StableDiffusion

Tamatoa created a liar filled with shiny things simply for the purpose of tricking fish to enter and become his food. He too experiences a lesson in how easy it is to be tricked by shiny things when Moana distracts him by covering herself in glowing algae so Maui can grab his hook.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments