Recently, I wrote an article titled "65 Things I Am Going To Teach My Future Daughter" and I realized well... what if I don't have a daughter? That would be very sad and I would probably end up adopting a girl because no way can I live in a house with all men and be the only female, I need someone who will go get their nails done with me. But anyways... as the plans for my life unfold, what if those plans only include having little boys running around my house? Little boys who like to beat each other up, destroy nicely cleaned rooms, somehow miss the toilet and pee on the floor (how does this even happen, you're standing RIGHT over it?????). Little boys who hopefully also respect girls, respect their momma, and pray to Jesus. So, as a follow up to my list of things I will teach my future daughter, here is the list of things I will teach my future son:

1. Don't you EVER hit a girl, I don't care if she hit you first. Walk away, take the high road.

2. Don't be THAT kid at recess, I think we all remember recess there was always that one boy who liked to chase the girls and try to force them to kiss him... don't be that kid.

3. Every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man. Keep a nice suit in your closet and put it on and go out and do something fancy with your lady every once in a while.

4. But also dress comfortably. I know some girls always love when a guy dresses up, but don't think you have to wear a suit and tie every day. You're allowed to wear jeans and sweats.

5. A pretty girl might make your eyes satisfied, but an intelligent girl will make your soul satisfied.

6. Keep your pants above your waist. Always, your mother didn't raise you to wear your pants around your knees.

7. You will learn to cook, clean, and do other simple household chores. If I hear when you're off and married and making your spouse do all the chores, I will come over to your house and spank the mess out of you; don't doubt me, boy.

8. A girl who takes you away from your family is a huge red flag. If she for some reason hates your whole family and doesn't want you to be around them, you don't want that kind of mess in your life.

9. Be smart with your money. Be a saver, but don't be stingy about it.

10. Call home when you're running late. Chances are, your father and I won't be mad at you if you let us know where you are and why you're late.

11. It's okay if you hate the university you thought you'd love. You can always transfer, it's not that big of a deal. Sometimes you love a college when you tour it, but hate actually being a part of it.

12. It's also okay if you don't want to go to college at all. But you're not just going to sit and waste away at my house. You can live here, but you have to get a full-time job.

13. Surprise your lady friend with flowers. It'll make her whole day.

14. Be protective of your sister, but not overbearing.

15. Never EVER ask a woman if it's her "time of the month." You know, just because she's angry doesn't mean she's PMSing, maybe she's angry because you did something stupid. Apologize.

16. Go easy on the cologne. I know this piece of advice will be ignored, like every middle school boys ignores it. You don't need a lot of cologne; you don't want the people around you to feel like they can taste your cologne.

17. Women can tell when you're lying to them. It's just a thing, we just have this little radar deep in our soul that can tell when someone is full of crap, this includes your mother. So just be honest.

18. It's okay to fall out of love with someone. But don't you dare cheat on them. Politely break up with them before you start dating someone else.

19. Winning isn't everything. Sometimes losing is one of the best things that can happen to you.

20. Showing emotion is not a sign of weakness. I don't care what your stupid, little friends say. If you want to go lock yourself in your room and cry over some ice cream to feel better... do it... and your mom would love to join.

21. Do not have unprotected sex unless you're married. I'd prefer to leave the sex talks to your father with you, but I must give you this one piece of advice. I don't care how good your "pull out game is" or if she is on the pill, you do not have unprotected sex until that woman is your wife and you are 100% committed to building a life and a family with her.

22. If you don't call me on Mother's Day, so help youGod.

23. There will be no sexism, racism, or any other kind of discrimination in my household. And if I hear about you doing it outside of my household, I'm still going to smack you.

24. Learn how to say "I'm sorry."

25. Trim your nails. But also, don't trim this so far down you have nubby fingers...

26. If a woman ever tells you "I'm fine," there is a 99.9% chance she is not and you better figure it out.

27. Life isn't always fair, but you can always come home to freshly baked cookies and talk about it with your mom.

28. Before you ever propose to a girl, ask for her father's permission. If her father is not around anymore, ask her closest family member. (her mom, her older brother, her sister, ect.)

29. You can't live in my house once you're married. That's just weird. Get your own dang house; but you can always come visit.

30. Don't be late. For school, for work, for a date, for a family dinner, just don't do it. And if you are, call ahead and let someone know why.

31. If you're ever feel pressured and want to say no to something, use me as an excuse. If your friends want you to try drugs, if your girlfriend wants you to go out of town with her, if you got invited to a party you know the police will bust, if you're out and someone wants you to do anything that you don't want to do but don't want to seem lame, just say that I won't let you do it. I will always vouch for you.

32. Invest in your girlfriend. Not financially, but emotionally. Learn her favorite things, cook her favorite foods, take her places she enjoys.

33. But if she doesn't invest in you, let her go.

34. If you've gone to a party and can't drive home, call your father or I. I don't care how drunk you are, if you are of legal age or not. It's better to call one of us and get a short speech of how you shouldn't have done that instead of getting a ride from God knows where and maybe even not surviving.

35. Your GPA does not define how intelligent you are, it defines how obedient you are. Don't let a number define your life.

36. If you're not happy with your life, it's time to find something else. Life is too short to have a job you hate, a partner you don't get along with, a house that you don't like, or anything else that is getting you down.

37. No matter what you have done, God still lives you and Jesus paid the ultimate price for you to be forgiven.

38. Find your passion and make a career out of it.

39. You don't have to be the star athlete. You don't have to be an athlete at all. If you decide you like arts and theatre, that's awesome too.

40. Your mother will always be cooler than any girl you date. And don't you forget it.