Society has so many misconceptions about what depression is.
No, depression is not simply being sad. No, depression is not just a feeling. No, you aren't suddenly depressed because of a fleeting event that happened today with you and your boyfriend or a bad grade you got on an exam. No, you weren't depressed after you watched that sad scene in the movie.
While I'm not trying to downplay sadness, depression is so much more than all of this. Depression isn't something that just goes away. You can't just laugh it off. It interferes with your day to day activity. Sometimes, it's all you can do to make it out of bed and make it to class. Depression is like being dead but somehow being alive at the same time. You feel like you’re in a pit that you’re trying to climb out of, but every time you make a move to climb out, you fall back down again.
There may not necessarily be a reason that you can pinpoint to make you feel this way, but it happens, and depressive disorders are mental illnesses that warrant treatment just as much as any physical illness would.
Everyone feels sad sometimes. Everyone gets down in the dumps. But there's a huge difference between being sad and being depressed. Being depressed isn't an emotion, it's a state of being. Sadness is a normal human emotion. But depression isn't. Not being able to function properly isn't normal. Losing interest in things you once loved isn't normal. Having suicidal thoughts isn't normal.
I heard the lyrics to a song recently called "Monochromatic" by Mary Lambert (no, not Miranda Lambert for all of you country fans). I heard it several times and then one day I heard it again and really listened to the words. The words to the song really made sense.
She sings these words:
"When I close my eyes, I dream in color. But my life's in black and white. Does it ever get better? I'm not monochromatic. Nobody's monochromatic."
It took me a few times to really grasp the meaning of this, but when I did, it was like a lightbulb moment. I could be completely wrong with the way I'm interpreting this song, but here's my opinion: she’s talking about depression.
Depression is like seeing everything in black and white. You know that everything isn’t really in black and white, that everything isn’t as dull and boring as it seems. But you just can’t see the world in its true color, no matter how hard you try. You may see it when you close your eyes, you may have glimpses of a world filled with color again, but for the most part, depression is pretty dark and gloomy.
But here’s the thing. You don’t have to see in black and white forever. You can see in color again. Depression can be overcome.
As someone who has struggled with severe depression in my lifetime, I know how it feels to see in black and white. I know how it feels to long to have color back in my life. I know how it feels to imagine my life without depression. However, there comes a point where you don’t have to imagine anymore. There comes a point when you start to get better. And while it’s not easy to overcome depression, it’s possible.
Another verse in the song is this:
“Everybody’s hurting. There’s nothing more human than that. See the pieces of hearts missing, but watch how light fills the cracks.”
Light can fill those cracks again. Light can illuminate your world and help you to see those “colors” again.
Now, I am pretty sure that Mary Lambert was not referring to Jesus when she was talking about light. But in reality, Jesus is the Light that can bring you out of your darkness.
Everyone has struggles. And sadly, depression is actually a pretty common struggle. But the good thing is this...there is hope for those of us who struggle or have struggled with depression because of Jesus and the power that He has in our lives.
He’s been there. He knows how it feels. Because of Jesus, we can have joy even in the darkest of times. Because of Jesus, we know that our lives have purpose and that we deserve to be on this earth. Because of Jesus, you know that you are not alone. Because of Jesus, you have the strength to fight your depression with every fiber of your being, even when you feel like you don’t have the strength to fight. Because of Jesus, you can be free.
Depression likes to tell lies. Depression likes to tell you that you’ll never get better. Depression likes to tell you that the world would be better off without you. But NONE of those things are true.
You CAN get better and you deserve to be here.
Don’t lose hope. One day, you’ll start to see in color again. And I promise, it is the most beautiful thing ever.
I’ll close with this quote by Corrie ten Boom…“There is no pit so deep that God’s love is not deeper still.” No matter how deep your pit is, or how dark your darkness is, His love is deeper.
