I originally planned on writing about my Mom for my first article, but I am yet to put into words how amazing she really is. So instead, I thought I would introduce myself since I am a new member to Odyssey!

I graduated from an all-girls high school this past May and have decided to attend DePaul University located in Chicago. I plan (or should probably say hope) to finish with a BA in Chemistry (kinda nerdy, I know), and then go into Pharmacy school. I'm sure by now after reading that last sentence you're probably wondering "what the heck is she doing trying to write an article?" Honestly, I am wondering that myself right now too.

My answer: I have a story to tell. One that I actually want to tell.

A story that just can't be described or captivated in its entirety in just 500 words this week.

Alright, now back to why I am writing for Odyssey now.

In a nutshell, I have grown up in your typical middle to lower-upper class family in Johnson County, attended Catholic schools my whole life, played competitive volleyball, owned a horse to compete with and had the opportunity to attend college this year. All in all, I am very blessed with the privileges my parents have made for me, but that doesn't mean that my life was perfect. It was far from perfect, to say the least. I went in phases with having depression, had an eating disorder for a little bit my sophomore year in high school, got verbally abused by a volleyball coach and just kind of got overwhelmed by all the different roles and masks I had to wear for various people and occasions. I was struggling to live up to the "only child role" and just couldn't cope with the idea that things weren't as close to as perfect as they should have been. I felt like I had failed in every possible way because I had all the tools and right people to make me happy. It was a lot easier to bottle up all my emotions and not tell anyone how I was really feeling, so I didn't. I ended up finding comfort in the fact that so many teenagers struggle with these exact same problems. So that today I am finally in a place where I can start to share this with others.

One of my good friends who was struggling asked me a couple months ago, "What changed? How did you get so happy again?" Well, it wasn't the Lexapro or therapy. It was me. I became who I had always wanted to be and stopped being who others wanted me to be. That sounds super cheesy and cliché, but it's true. I became someone who I was proud of. Throughout the process of finding myself, I wish I could say that all my friends stuck by me in the end. Most didn't and that was okay because I was okay.

So with that being said, that is why I am here...to show people that it is okay to not be okay. Just because you have some obstacles or are going through hardship, it doesn't make you damaged goods. If anything, you will always be stronger after you have been weak.

"One day you'll make peace with your demons, and the chaos in your heart will settle flat. and maybe for the first time in your life, life will smile right back at you and welcome you home." R.M. Drake

xoxo,

cgl