There are things a normal relationship never experiences, and there are things only a military relationship would understand. For example, sleepless nights, constant changes in plans because a sergeant said so or knowing what he means when he talks about trips to the PX after going to the DFAC in his ACU’s. This is what life as an army girlfriend is like.
Long distance is normal. My entire relationship has been long distance. The distance has ranged from 200 miles apart to 8,000 miles apart. If you’re an army girlfriend, you know what this is like. Whether they’re in basic training, at their duty station or serving a deployment, the distance will almost always be there.
Sleepless nights happen more often. Before I was dating a soldier, I watched the news, I knew what was happening around the world, but it never affected me. Now, I constantly lose sleep when I hear of something happening to a soldier, especially since he’s overseas because you never know what could happen. The world is a crazy place.
You miss someone so much it hurts. I can’t explain how rough it is to never have your boyfriend around. To never be able to cuddle with someone, to never be able to steal their French fries after telling them you didn’t want food, to never be able to go out with them and let the world know you have a really awesome boyfriend. I have never missed anyone like I miss him when he’s gone.
Army language becomes your second language. Alpha bravo Charlie delta echo foxtrot gold hotel India Juliett kilo lima mike November Oscar papa Quebec Romeo sierra tango uniform victor whiskey Xray Yankee Zulu. And there you have it. The phonetic alphabet often used by the army. In addition, little terms like PC for “patrol cap” or ACU’s for “army combat uniform” or AIT for “advanced individual training” or DFAC for “dining facility” become normal sayings. Learn them and learn them fast because they’ll constantly be said.
Schedules have to be made. You can’t just text all day, everyday like normal people. You can’t FaceTime or Skype whenever you want. Sometimes there are 9-hour time differences, or they have to wake up at 5 in the morning for PT while you’re still asleep, or they work long hours. You have to set aside times in your completely different schedules to be able to talk. Is it fun? No. Is it manageable? Yes. Is it worth it? Absolutely.
You learn new skills. When care packages become a normal part of your relationship, you learn ways to make a plain brown box so much more than that. You learn how to fit as much in a box as you possibly can. You learn how to buy or make the cutest, most thoughtful items for the cheapest. You figure out where dollar sections are in every store, especially Target, and you learn how to make the best care packages possible.
Strength is improved. Not in a physical aspect, but mentally. Being strong is the only way it will ever work out. You have to be strong for yourself but also him. It isn’t easy for him to be gone. It isn’t easy to live the life they live, or to be a part of the life and job they've chosen. Strength and attitude are everything. If you aren’t strong in the beginning, you will quickly learn to be.
Being an army girlfriend makes me so proud. I have an incredible boyfriend doing incredible things every single day. I may not have a normal life, or the life I ever imagined, but I have a life I wouldn’t trade for the world. It may not be easy, but it is worth it.
