Let me get this out there before everyone screams at me. I know the B does not stand for bicycle; it stands for bisexual. That means a person is attracted to both men and women, and that’s exactly who I am. Just because I’m with a man doesn’t mean I’m straight. Just because I’m with a woman doesn’t mean I’m a lesbian. Either or, I’m still bisexual. I’m not confused. I just happen to like both genders, and there’s nothing I can do about that. A lot of things are changing in 2016. There’s more awareness in sexual orientation, trans issues, and civil rights. Even though things aren’t perfect, people are starting to get the picture, so why is it a different story when it comes to bisexuality?
It should be an easy concept to understand, but apparently to some, it’s not. Every day there’s this need to forget about bisexuality altogether. In TV shows like "Orange is the New Black" or "Glee," characters who are gay or straight can be stated as such, which is pretty spectacular, but there are characters in these shows that share an interest in both genders. Instead of stating they are in fact bisexual, writers will make them say “they have no interest in labels.” To the writers of these shows, it seems that you have to make a choice on which sex you prefer or else you are invalid, yet to add to the confusion they have no qualms of saying someone is just OK without a label. If you’re already there, why not say it?
“So there’s a problem in the media,” you think, “But it’s not bad in real life, right?” Actually, it is. Being bisexual, there are stereotypes we hear and may have been a target of. The first is promiscuity. People seem to think when you’re attracted to more than one person, you’re down to do whatever anyone pleases in bed. I’ve gotten requests from strangers, and frankly, it’s rude. In online dating sites, from my personal experience, some people would go on a dating app meant for LGBT women just to scout out bisexuals or pansexuals for a “fun night out” with their boyfriend.
The thought of bisexuals being cheaters is also common, as if sexuality plays any part in the act of loyalty. If I was dating a girl, she’d be the only person I’d see. I wouldn’t go looking for some guy to be with because I’m attracted to them, too. That’s not how it works, but for some reason, it’s plagued the bi community. If you really think someone would cheat on you because they happen to like the opposite gender, then I think you need to reevaluate yourself. Anyone — gay, straight, bisexual — has the ability to cheat. It all depends on the person’s character. Limiting it to just sexual orientation feeds into another stereotype of bisexuals being greedy because it seems that we can't just settle with one person.
Being a part of the LGBT community, there’s already so much derision from straight people who are close-minded. To them, we are gay, so we still get shunned and disrespected. Sometimes we’ll be told to choose or just date the same gender. This ridicule I’d expect from people like that, but turning to our own community can be just as hostile. I love being a part of the community. Most people are extremely nice and accepting of you no matter who you are, but some don't think it counts to be bi. “Passing for straight” is a term used in the LGBT community to further justify why we shouldn’t be a part of them. Because we can enter a “straight” relationship, it seems that we can get past the name calling and oppression that a same-sex relationship would. I admit it would appear that way on the outside, but that doesn’t make someone straight. Why does it matter who I’m with? It’s not about who I’m with; it’s about who I am. It’s a message summarized very well in Ashley Mardell’s video, “Not Gay Enough” which I encourage you to watch.
Each time I’m told I’m not enough for one or the other, I feel myself breaking. I’m not defined by my sexuality, but it is a giant part of me. When people put it down, tell me I’m confused, that I’ll grow out of it, or that I’m doing it for attention, I feel like my feelings aren’t important and that they’re not real. Maybe you, the reader, feels the same way I do. Whether you’re pan, bi, or ace — the unsung sexualities of the rainbow — you’re valid. If you’re straight or another part of the LGBT community, help me feel like I’m perfect the way I am.
