The Millennial generation has been stereotyped as lazy, whiny and entitled as if we are the first ones to have those types of people.
This from the generation who raised us, a generation that has left us deeply scarred. Not just from the economy or the laws and Presidents that they put into office but relationships. These aren't limited to just friends or partners but our parents themselves. Our parents have hurt us, a lot of us through mental, emotional and physical abuse and it's hard to come to terms with that. It's one of the most difficult feelings to process, your parents are supposed to be your protectors and the basis for how you love. They set the tone for how you choose a partner and what you look for and even the confidence that you carry with you as you walk out into public... but if your parents aren't what you need them to be then how can you even know what you need from others?
As a child my first heartbreak was from my parents, seeing how drug addiction has split us apart, how miscommunication can change a happy atmosphere to one of dread. These experiences are the root of your life, this is what you will subconsciously base everything on. If it's broken how can you expect to form healthy attachments? Millennials are used to being treated as less than what they are truly worth. we will weather toxic friendships, mentally traumatic relationships and parental situations that quietly kill us if it means not being alone. It's not pathetic, it's human.
We are human. We see how our mother stood by our father, or how an aunt takes care of a friend who's an emotional vampire and we think that we can too. We aspire to be known for our bravery in the face of this daunting adversity but we don't have to. There are thousands of memes haughtily asking us if we will stand by someone who has hurt us or if we are strong enough to weather a storm and see the rain. I'm here to tell you that's bull. Absolute crap. We are nor obligated in any way to take abuse, gas-lighting, being lied to and physical scars. There is no sense in being punished for defending ourselves against a verbal attack, meeting our abuser fist for fist,or engaging in arguments from people that only want to take our money and time. "No" is a complete sentence and here comes the hard part, the after.
After we have broken up with our parents, our toxic partners, our selfish friends how do we navigate being healthy? No bruises, no angry phone calls and no emotional manipulation, how do we cope? When you are used to holding your breath, breathing feels out of place in your lungs.
Healthy relationships are so important for our growth as people, understanding that you deserve good things and having someone that gives them to you is a miracle.When you're honesty does not end in rage it can be hard to make sense of the puzzle that you have been given. The board is no longer coated in broken glass but clouds, where you once had to struggle to learn the rules of the game they are clearly stated in a manual. You don't have to struggle, you can finally release the tension coiled inside of you that has kept you on your toes and in fear of your life.
This is the weird part, I know because I'm navigating it myself. Stability is strange, love is strange. I used to wake up dreading the day and the events that would come, already feeling my heart ache from keeping the stress at bay with every errant thought that I could employ but now I don't. I have an amazing group of friends who truly love and support me,an amazing partner who wants me to do everything that I've ever dreamed of and a family that helps me to flourish. They don't come with strings attached, they aren't lies. If you are also navigating the strangeness, the true relief from pain, I encourage you to revel in the feeling. It never goes away. We have faced a war on our minds and our bodies, a war that has glorified the near loss of our sanity and we have somehow made it through to peek through on the other side and see the warmth of the sun. If you are witnessing this event then please give support, it can be daunting to open your heart to peers and partners that show you how to relearn the meaning of trust. Please hold our hands as we dance and breathe in the feeling of freedom.
