Take a second now to think of your closest group of friends from high school. The friends that you talked about the latest gossip with, the crazy stories and all the boys you’ve ever had crushes on. The friends that you grew up with your whole life. And through your ups and downs, laughs and tears, they had your back and you had theirs, no matter what.

Kind of sad to think about right? In some way or another you’ve probably grown apart from them, and it sucks. For a lot of people, including myself, we grew up with the same group of friends. Same old story. You meet in elementary school, and are inseparable through high school. This is typical for a lot of girls at least. I thought that I was going to be best friends with my childhood friends for the rest of my life and that they’d be by my side as bridesmaids at my wedding, and vice versa. Everything is great until school starts to get hard, dating becomes a thing, and soon enough you’re thinking of where you want to apply for college. Not to mention, the immense pressure that is put on you to decide what you want to do for the rest of your life at age 17 or 18. That’s a lot to deal with, and I thought that my friends would be the least of my worries.

Junior year rolled around and things started to change. I was more involved with my volleyball team and they started to feel like my new family. I found myself realizing that I didn’t really fit in with my original group of friends anymore, and that was crushing to me. It was like everything I knew was abandoning me, and at the worst time. Junior year is pretty well known for being the hardest year of high school. Between SAT’s, AP classes, and your GPA actually starting to mean something to you, the typical junior year high school student has got a lot on their plate. I was afraid that I wasn’t even good enough or smart enough for my own friends, or that they just didn’t like me anymore altogether. And even though I knew we were still friends at heart, and I had my volleyball team, and eventually even a boyfriend, I still felt lonely at times. I missed being in such a tight knit circle.

But during that junior year of high school I began to branch out to new people, different people. I was nervous, of course, to lose my childhood friends completely. But from branching out, I found one of my closest friends, and reconnected with some older ones which strengthened our bond. And for that, I am so grateful. They are some of the best friends I’ve ever had and I would trust them with anything. I’m glad that I took the leap and allowed myself to let go. To let go of what friends I thought were forever, but ended up being just a special part of what was to come. I still hold them close to my heart, and of course I still care about them, but I no longer feel obligated to be a part of something that I’m not, just for the sake of continuity or familiarity.

Being in college now, I’m especially glad that I allowed myself to start rebuilding my inner circle of friends. I think it really helped me to make new friends here at school, and to not expect a lot from anyone. I came in with an open mind, and what I’ve come out is something I’ll never forget. Even though we’ve not even known each other for a full year yet, I feel like I’ve know them my whole life. I would say that I hope the friends I’ve made here at college are friends I’ll keep for the rest of my life and maybe even have with me at my wedding, but I am not guaranteed that. So instead I will say that I hope to have them in my life for a long time to come. They’ll always have a special place in my heart, just as my original group of childhood friends do.