We all feel like we have some control on the things that manifest in our life. I do. Maybe you're like me and you get this sense of security when you have control over things. In fact, I overload my phone with affirmations memes that reassures me that I do IN FACT have control over my life.

But most of the time, we can't control everything that plays a role in our life. Yup, that pumpkin spice latte that you get at Starbucks every morning before starting your day? Well, you can't help if they hired a new barista and they make your pumpkin spice latte less pumpkier. You just can't. But on a serious note, you may be beating yourself up over a mistake that you made in the past or maybe you're trying to keep someone in your life who no longer wants to be apart of it.

You may feel this sense of weakness but you shouldn't. Here's five reasons why it's best to let it go peacefully.

It's holding you back


Now that the storm has blew over, the sun is kissing your skin and the rainbow is crowning you but you're not enjoying the crisp weather. Why? Because you're paranoid about the next stormy weather.

In other words, instead of looking forward to life's new opportunities and the new people being placed in it, you're constantly worrying yourself that bad luck will inevitably find you. That those new people in your life will leave you like the last. You think you are protecting yourself but in reality you're blocking yourself from living the life that you truly deserve and possibly hurting other people while "protecting" yourself.

Learn how to accept when a chapter in your life has ended and move on to better things with life lessons and a positive attitude.

It wasn't meant for you


I know. This is probably not something that you want you hear. Maybe you were so close to accomplishing a dream and you watched with agonizing pain as it slipped through your fingers. It doesn't necessarily mean that it isn't your calling but maybe it wasn't meant to come to you in that way. For example, Tori Kelly, an amazing pop and gospel singer went on American Idol to chase her dreams of one day becoming an artist but was sent home as a semi-finalist. It didn't mean that she was a bad singer. Winning American Idol was simply not for her. It wasn't her time yet. And today she has in her possession a Grammy for Best Gospel Performance Song for 2019 and played a role in the successful animated movie, SING.

Whether or not you want to be a star, it's still relevant to all aspects of life. When one door closes a window opens. Stop running back to those closed doors. Stop thinking about things that you simply did not have control over. Thinking about them over and over will certainly not give you control. It will only bring you doubt and more disappointment in yourself. Not everything is for you and that's okay because what is meant for you will happen in it's own time. Just let it go and don't give up.

You get to forgive and then heal

Photo by Katherine Hanlon on Unsplash

Forgiving. This nine letter word is the hardest thing to do but it holds so much power. Maybe you tried your all to save a relationship but it still went crashing down. It hurts losing a person-especially someone who wants to be lost. Maybe you were the victim or you were part of the reason why it fell apart. If that person no longer wants you in their life, you have to respect that. But what now? How do you move on?

You forgive. Wait, before you delete me from your history. Hear me out. I know you would rather post a revenge picture on Insta living your best life but even after all the likes and comments you receive, you are still left alone with the bitterness. You need to forgive them and then forgive yourself. Cry if you need to. Create a sad playlist. Write about it. Sing about it. Do what you have to do to heal as long as it is safe to you and others. But don't do it forever. After a while it's time to go through the forgiving and healing process.

Imagine your heart being broke in pieces. You go to the hospital to get surgery on your heart. After the surgery, your heart is wrapped in bandages and they send you home with your medicine presciption and sends you to therapy to get your heart back to a normal activity. That is a mental vision of the forgiving and healing process.

We're not perfect people and that's okay! Forgive yourself. Acknowledge that you screwed up and made a bad choice of judgement. Acknowledge it. Jump right in it because you can't not acknowledge it. You'll never get into the healing process. Forgive them. Even if it was 100% their fault. Forgive them for being a clueless person and move on. It slowly destroys the negative feelings that you have towards them.

It took me two years to heal from a bitter break up. I hated it. It was long, hard and confusing but if I hadn't forgave them and myself, I wouldn't be able to write this to you without crying and so far I'm writing to you with a face covered in watermelon seeds and smile. A smile of hope that you will let go of what happened and what could've been done or said to save it. Use your mistakes as lessons for the future.

Life is ever changing

That's one thing that we humans just CANNOT have control over and that's change. Change is inevitable. When a baby is born it must go through changes in order to develop and become an adult. We live in a bubble of change. Remember when Instagram app logo used to not be pink? Change is just a natural thing. Even the Earth goes through changes.

Of course there are somethings in life that do stay the same such as: your mom always being your mom or a cow always "mooing" but you have to learn to accept when things in life are temporary. Sometimes you never know it's temporary until it's gone but once it's gone, appreciate it, grieve if you have to but make sure to move on and adapt to the new.

Adapting can be hard but human beings have been adapting since the beginning of man. We evolve. It's hard to accept but life is a cycle of changing.

Please know that you are not alone. That there are human beings all over the world struggling to adapt. No said it was a race but you must keep going and find the positives in the change. Another thing to keep in mind is that that temporary thing was never a waste of time. It was there to push you for growth and once you outgrew it, it could not keep up.

Your best is yet to come


I'm a firm believer that we get to live a little like Heaven on Earth. If you don't get anything from reading this, I need you to take this last piece with you. There is a reason for everything that happens to you whether good or bad. Even the smallest things in life can give you a lesson to use for the next stage in life. Understand that this hard point in your life is only a small piece of your life. Everyone has good days and bad days. Don't wait for the good days to start living.

Take your time. Start small. Take baby steps. Crawl. Whatever you do, don't stop. The only thing you need to stop doing is trying to control what happened in the past and the future. Whatever happens in your life, take meaning from it and move on. You will look back on that moment and smile. You'll use that moment to help someone who will one day be in that similar situation.

You deserve every good thing that happens to you. Many blessings unto you.