I came to you a broken person. I had been hurt, badly. And worse yet, I lost myself, or at least parts of myself, in the process. Trying to become who I am created to be was like trying to put together the pieces of a puzzle. And in my case, it must have been one of those 1,000 piece sets.
I met you. And some of those pieces came perfectly together. Like I had met my own soul and all she could say to me was "I missed seeing that piece of you." But you can't complete me. No one can. I have to go after some of the pieces myself this time. I have to let go of what I want in order to find what I need first. Right now I need time to heal and time to grow into the woman I am meant to become. What I want is for that woman to meet the man you've grown to be too. Because when we met, I was still a girl. A girl that was afraid to love. I wasn't ready for how much we would care about each other. I needed to be a woman for that. But someday- I'll have put together all my puzzle pieces by myself. And maybe we can see how the people we've become will interact- when I am more me and we've had more time.
We both should be on our own for a bit. I need to solve some puzzles by myself. For now, you do your thing and I do mine. And if we find each other again, then it's lovely.
We can no longer make decisions out of fear, and we avoid realizing that because we are afraid to. Fear is a strong motivator -- it can be a good one too. But if it is the only thing propelling our actions, those actions will lead us to lonely places. And we run the risk of hurting others in the process.
A part of me was lost again when we said goodbye. But it is a part of me I have no interest in retrieving. It's the part of me that desired to be beautiful. The part of me that was afraid.
And from that rose the part of me that realized I was already beautiful, inside and out. The part of me that was free and wild. Now I long for so much more. I long to be more that just beautiful. I strive to be genuine and raw and energetic. I search for the things that bring me passion, and soul, and anger, and laughter.
I use to strive for holiness, and angelic grace. But now I am on an adventure to discover the things that bring me closer to being human. This makes my heart happy.
And if we ever meet again, I can recount to you my journey.
But I won't share what I've learned from my travels on this earth freely. No. I could only speak of such things to ears that truly listen, to eyes that look for the best in me, and to a heart that longs for adventure too. I think I'd run away from everyone else forever. I'll be running fast and hard towards life and love. Anyone that wants to know me and be part of me can catch up if they can.
