I realize by this title, you might not have any idea what this article is about to say. It could be about anything, I like that….

I battled depression and anxiety for seven months. From November 2015 to May 2016 I survived. I use the word, “survived” because that’s literally what it felt like. It didn’t feel like I was thriving, or even “just okay”, but rather getting scraped across a hard concrete sidewalk, bruised, beaten, and bleeding… But breathing. And at some points I wondered if the breathing part was even worth it, at that point.

I went through a lot, health problems and other things in this time. But through all of this, around May of this year, I found that I can get through things “alone” I have God, the maker of the universe, the one who holds the world together, walking by my side. And that’s when I found freedom from the mental illnesses.

But the story doesn’t end there.... Hold tight, It gets even better. :)

We flash forward to this month… It was Wednesday October 12, 2016. This particular week (or weeks really) I felt spiritually drained. I had taken some breaks from things, pulled away from people in general, to hear God’s voice. There was just one problem, I wasn’t seeking Him. I was waiting for Him to seek me… So naturally, I felt as if God was being silent. I felt dry, I felt empty.

Jumping back to late September, a close friend of mine had a really good conversation one day, in which he said “There’s something you’re still holding onto, I can feel it, Seth… Let it go” I honestly couldn’t think of anything. (Not that I was trying too hard..) Now back to this Wednesday in October, this same friend, noticed that I looked drained, and sat me down and prayed with me to encounter God, and go and seek Him, don’t wait for Him to come find me. He asked me “Seth, what’s next?” and then patted me on the leg, and told me that was for me to figure out.

I sat there for five minutes, asking, pleading God to show himself to me… Saying, “What is next, God? What’s your plan?’’ I wasn’t hearing anything, and was getting slightly frustrated. And then… Like a rushing wind, I heard, “Let go, Seth… Let go of the labels” I knew exactly what that meant. I was letting the labels of “Depression" and "Anxiety’’ define who I was today… I might not even really struggle with it anymore, but I was still letting myself be defined by it. So naturally, I “borrowed” a small rock from the church, and a sharpie, and wrote “Depression and anxiety” and then circled the word “Redeemed” that I wrote on the rock. I told this close, special friend my plan of throwing this rock in the lake nearby, as a representation of throwing my labels away. He got a satisfying smile on his face, and told me he thought it was a great idea, but he wanted me to go alone, even though I asked him to go, he felt like in his heart I was supposed to go alone.

Well, I wasn’t going to go completely alone. (it was dark, I’m a baby) I went to grab my brother from Southern Nazarene University, and told him I would explain on the way. We get to the lake, and I park near where this friend told me to go (a special place that he goes). I walk out, prayed over my rock, and told God I’m throwing away the labels that once define me, but no longer will I let them. And then, I chunked the rock down as hard as I could, and I heard two drops into the water below…. IT BROKE. Which honestly, was the coolest thing. (Not only that I threw a rock so hard that it broke, I mean I felt like Thor at that point) But I think that was God’s way of saying, “you threw away the labels, now I’m breaking them for good.)

I turn around like my friend told me to do, and look out at the lake…. I felt anew, like there was a new journey about to be embarked. I head back to my car, and discover my friend… standing there, trying not to break the huge smile, and asked me “now what?” I said, “I no longer am defined by those labels, I am redeemed. And now I can start what God has for me.” He asked, “Will it get easier?” I said “nope….” he asked, “then why do it?” I said, “Because it’s worth it.” And then he hugged me, and that’s when I lost it… snot flying, not breathing, tears falling… the ugly cry, you know what I’m talking about? Freedom tears.

I attended chapel at SNU the next morning, and the whole service was basically what happened to me the night before. But this quote from the speaker, stood out to me, "Get over it, and get on with it."

Do you have labels from the past that you are still holding onto? Get a rock, write the labels, and chunk that thing. It’s not worth it. The past is not worth letting it affect your whole being today. It’s not worth listening to the enemy that you are still defined by the things that were once your labels. You are new, you have been created anew in Christ Jesus, the old has passed, the new is here!! I don’t know what you need to do to let go of the past, maybe you are to do what I did, and throw a rock into a lake at a sketchy time of the night when all there is are the kissing couples, and the sketchy people in hoodies. Or maybe for you, it looks entirely different. But no matter what it is, I encourage you to check yourself, and see if you are still carrying labels from your past.