"The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward."
–Steve Maraboli
There comes a time in our lives when we meet someone who we immediately become attached to. We cherish this person more than we cherish ourselves and become fascinated with everything about them. In many circumstances, we would do absolutely anything for this person regardless of the consequences that it may bring about. They become a piece of us and we wouldn’t dare imagine a life without them in it. Our lives become a whirlwind of love, laughter and bliss — and then in the blink of an eye, they’re gone.
It leaves us empty, with a hole in our hearts, wondering what happened and what we could have done to change it. More often than not, we dwell on the past, reliving the good times and trying to figure out where things went wrong. Also more often than not, we struggle with letting go.
I am writing this article because at some point in our lives, every single one of us has been left empty, heartbroken and at a loss. However, it is important that we understand when it is time to let go and how to do just that.
Each and every one of us experiences something different, but one of the most common reasons why we can’t let go is because of the anger, the hurt and the confusion that we are left to manage. I will tell you right now, you will never let go if you cannot forgive the person who left you broken. I have no doubt that how they treated you was wrong or that they don’t deserve to be forgiven, but you aren’t forgiving them for them; you’re forgiving them for you. Once you finally get rid of all the anger and sadness that you feel toward that person, things will get easier and you will eventually let go.
More importantly, understand that you will never understand. All of the sleepless nights trying to figure out what went wrong, what you did or what they were thinking are useless. You will never be able to get inside of their head and understand what happened. We all want answers; it is part of our nature. For some reason, we have a problem with the unknown; we’re afraid of it. In order to let go and move on with our lives though, we have to realize that we will never understand.
At the end of the day, the one thing we must remember is that we will be OK. There is no denying that losing someone we love is heart-breaking, but that doesn’t mean that we will never heal. Every day we get out of bed and carry on; things will get easier. On the other hand, if we crumble and shut down, things will never get better. We all have the strength to carry on and let go, but only those of us who are willing to do so will. It is going to be hard and there will be days when we feel like staying in bed and pretending like the world doesn’t exist. However, it is the days when we go out and face the world, that will change us and before we know it, we will meet someone new, who may one day leave us with the same feeling of emptiness, or who may change our lives forever. Until then, we must let go and carry on, knowing that there are better days to come.
